Get Over Yourself
dread weight portends a churning belly-ache
the day sinking ......
relentless countdown to the frowning hours
before the night of fitful sleep awakes disturbed
that day is now here ...... too soon the unwelcome light
numb propulsion, impending imminent
door opening ......
pounding heart, cold palms sweat and muscles tense
room full of others with turning eyes, closing ranks
see inside myself ...... projected back, enquiring looks
I am they, all watching and they are right
feedback feeding ......
clenched fist focus on self-fulfilling fool
someone speaks to me! to me! I feel the blood surge
as flushed cheeks inflame ...... and amplify my distress
slight surprise, recoil, rebuffed dismissal
stranded squirming ......
cornered, hurried walk to any doorway
blunder into the venue hall, seats at the back
anonymity ...... breathe once more, escape route planned
steal away, out of sight, try to regroup
reprocessing ......
unravelled depressing disappointment
sucker punched, floored again, selfish whimper
referee above...... whispers " get over yourself "
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