Home » Poems » Jan Allison » Gender Bender

Gender Bender

I’m a man I’m a man I once was Jan but now I’m Stan* I strut around posing and drink some beer Use the gent’s toilets, now that sure feels ***** I must stand up now when I use the loo ‘Shake hands with shorty’ now that’s quite a coup I don’t shave my legs, it’s now my chin Got a beer gut now when once I was thin When I go to work I wear a suit not a dress Am not really bothered if my hair is a mess Causal jeans show my ‘builders bum’ When I turn round you see my overhanging tum I go out with my mates on a Friday night Dance like a muppet – that’s quite a sight Age old chat up lines – what a bore Eye up the ladies oh I want to score I truly can't envisage what its like to be male I hope you enjoyed my tongue in cheek tale! Jan Allison 5th May 2014 *reference to Stan comes from my poem written with Darren Watson called 'Our first meeting in the Isle of Man' I saw Richard had placed 6th in the recent 'women only contest' so thought I would chance it too with this poem that was written for Gender Bender Contest sponsored by Richard Lamoureaux ~ Awarded 5th Place by Richard~ ~awarded 6th place by Kelly Deschler in the 'men only contest '... thank you for being a good sport Kelly!

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem.

Please Login to post a comment

Skat A

Date: 8/17/2015 2:47:00 PM

Jan, :-) Congratulations with your wonderful win! *SKAT*

Jan Allison
Date: 8/17/2015 2:58:00 PM

Thanks Skat:-) hugs Jan xx

Mark Trichet

Date: 8/16/2015 8:20:00 PM

LOL, :) Congrats Jan! Would have a lot of us saying - to true...very witty

Jan Allison
Date: 8/17/2015 2:35:00 AM

Thanks Mark:-) hugs Jan xx

Paul Callus

Date: 8/16/2015 2:07:00 PM

I still remember this witty write, Jan! I see that you entered this contest in disguise:) ~ Congratulations on placing in a men's only contest...quite a feat:)) Hugs // paul

Jan Allison
Date: 8/16/2015 2:22:00 PM

I thought if Richard could get away with it in the 'women only contest' then I would chance my luck - shhhh don't tell anyone else they may not notice I slipped through the radar lol:-) hugs Jan/Stan xx

Alexis Y.

Date: 8/16/2015 10:44:00 AM

Jan, l enjoyed your tongue and cheek tale! I laughed out loud too. I enjoy the humor that you bring to the soup. Congratulations on your "gender bending" win:-) Alexis 7

Alexis Y.
Date: 8/16/2015 12:04:00 PM

I will go have a look at Richard's poem.

Jan Allison
Date: 8/16/2015 11:57:00 AM

Thanks Alexis - I saw Richard had entered the women only contest with his gender bender poem so I thought I would be cheeky and do the same thing with mine - Kelly was great to give placements to us both:-) hugs Jan xx

Viv Wigley

Date: 8/16/2015 12:49:00 AM

I couldn't think of a nicer bloke to share the bottom place with. Viv x

Jan Allison
Date: 8/16/2015 5:04:00 AM

Aww thanks Mr Viv:-) hugs jan xx

Kelly Deschler

Date: 8/15/2015 3:06:00 PM

Congrats on 6th place!... A very clever and well written poem... This does deserve a higher placement, but because of the rules I could only give it a 6th... Really great work, Jan!

Jan Allison
Date: 8/16/2015 5:05:00 AM

Thanks Kelly - its great to be able to bend the rules a little bit - I do appreciate even being placed in a 'men only contest:-) hugs jan xx

Jan Allison

Date: 8/15/2015 12:55:00 PM

A MASSIVE THANKS TO KELLY FOR BEING A GOOD SPORT AND PLACING ME 6th IN THIS CONTEST:-) HUGS JAN XX

Kelly Deschler
Date: 8/15/2015 3:08:00 PM

You're very welcome, Jan :) Your poem deserved recognition regardless of the rules!

Kelly Deschler

Date: 6/22/2014 1:31:00 AM

I like the humor that you always put into your poems, Jan. It is a refreshing change to what I normally read on The Soup. Great work! Congratulations on your win!

Jan Allison
Date: 6/22/2014 2:19:00 AM

Thank you Kelly I do try and make people smile and thank you for commenting on this you have made my day:-) Hugs Jan xxx

Poet Destroyer A

Date: 6/19/2014 2:32:00 PM

Hey Jan, nice hearing from you... thanks for the reply...Linda

Jan Allison
Date: 6/19/2014 4:17:00 PM

:-) xx

Tim Smith

Date: 6/19/2014 6:53:00 AM

Stopping back...it is still hilarious...congrats Tim

Jan Allison
Date: 6/19/2014 7:09:00 AM

Thanks Tim I really enjoyed writing this was delighted Richard approved and it got such a great placement. Hugs Jan xxx

Poet Destroyer A

Date: 6/18/2014 11:34:00 PM

Jan, Congratulations:)~ Enjoyed, reading every awesome poem on Richard's L, Gender Bender winning list. ... XoX.... LINDA

Jan Allison
Date: 6/18/2014 11:59:00 PM

Thanks Linda - I enjoyed reading them all too:-) Hugs Jan xxx

Paul Callus

Date: 6/18/2014 2:24:00 PM

Congratulations Jan! What would we do in life were we to discard humour and just brood on our misfortunes and problems! We have to learn to strike a balance, for our own good. Life is too short! Take care. /x/ paul

Jan Allison
Date: 6/18/2014 2:50:00 PM

I usually try and add humour to all my writes if possible even if it just a twist at the end of the poem. Thanks for dropping by Paul. Hugs Jan xxxx

Skat A

Date: 6/18/2014 1:05:00 PM

Jan, Congratulations on your sweet win, awesome Gender Bender win...SKAT

Jan Allison
Date: 6/18/2014 1:28:00 PM

Thanks for the lovely comment SKAT. Hugs Jan xxxx

Dr.Ram Mehta

Date: 6/18/2014 10:16:00 AM

Congratulations on the fine win in the contest Gender Bender,

Jan Allison
Date: 6/18/2014 10:57:00 AM

Thank you for dropping by with your lovely comment Dr Mehta. Hugs Jan xx

Richard Lamoureux

Date: 6/18/2014 10:13:00 AM

This was fun, congrats on your win in my contest.

Jan Allison
Date: 6/18/2014 10:55:00 AM

Oh Thank you so much Richard. It is an hour to be placed in your contest thank you so much. Hugs as ever Jan xxxx

Cecilia Macfarlane

Date: 5/6/2014 8:31:00 PM

Smiling Jan, love your tale as Stan....awesome write! Hugs

Jan Allison
Date: 5/7/2014 12:54:00 AM

Glad it made you smile Cecilia. Hugs 'Stan' xxx

Vera Duggan

Date: 5/6/2014 7:28:00 PM

That is so good Jan and funny and clever, good luck in the contest my friend...............Vera............

Jan Allison
Date: 5/7/2014 12:54:00 AM

Thanks for dropping by Vera. Hugs Jan xxx

Darren Watson

Date: 5/6/2014 12:24:00 PM

Amazing poem Jan. Any poem that finishes above this in the contest will win it , I hope none do, It is brilliant.

Jan Allison
Date: 5/6/2014 12:26:00 PM

You are too kind in your praise Darren. Hugs as ever your friend 'Stan' xxxx

Richard Palmer

Date: 5/5/2014 3:53:00 PM

go get em Jan,dance like a puppet when you win the contesgreat write

Jan Allison
Date: 5/5/2014 4:01:00 PM

LOL Richard I promise I will dance if I get placed Hugs Jan xxxx

Alex Frankel

Date: 5/5/2014 3:35:00 PM

Hi Jan, really enjoyed this ... Great entertainment and really clever :) Alex

Jan Allison
Date: 5/5/2014 3:46:00 PM

Thanks for the lovely comment Alex. Hugs Jan xxx

Deborah Shiells

Date: 5/5/2014 11:41:00 AM

Hi Jan, That was clever my friend! loved it, Read it out loud! And lol. Good write as always:~) Peace, Deborah

Jan Allison
Date: 5/5/2014 11:43:00 AM

Thanks Deborah I know my sense of humour in my poems appeals to you. LOL. Hugs Jan xxxx

Nette Onclaud

Date: 5/5/2014 11:02:00 AM

haha, i love both sides of you, jan... ohhh, you are awesome and extraordinary.. huggs

Jan Allison
Date: 5/5/2014 11:09:00 AM

I take that comment as high praise indeed Nette! I just try to find a humourous side to my poems and make people smile. Hugs Jan - loved your blog on meeting Jake you make such a lovely couple in the picture and the collaboration poem was divine.

Jack Horne

Date: 5/5/2014 10:06:00 AM

LOL, had a good chuckle here : )

Jan Allison
Date: 5/5/2014 10:33:00 AM

Thanks Jack, if I make someone smile with my work then I am truly happy. Hugs Jan xxx

Aiyah Torres

Date: 5/5/2014 8:37:00 AM

nice to meet you, Stan!!! :O)) I can imagine a handsome guy walking towards me... and I blushed!!! ..wew!! ... great write as ever!! :O))

Jan Allison
Date: 5/5/2014 10:32:00 AM

Lol Aiyah thanks for dropping by. Hugs Jan xxx

Jack Ellison

Date: 5/5/2014 6:46:00 AM

Sure did!!! T'was a hoot!!! LOL The more I know of you, the more our similarities go so much further than our names!!! Loved it dear sis! Have a super day! Huhs, Brother Jack XOXOX

Jan Allison
Date: 5/5/2014 6:51:00 AM

Thanks Jack as long as it makes someone smile I'm happy :-) Off to take mum to visit dad in hospital now so need lots of laughter in my life to keep me going. Hugs dear brother jack you mean the world to me! Jan xxxx