Jan Allison Poet Rhyme

Gender Bender

I’m a man I’m a man
I once was Jan but now I’m Stan*
I strut around posing and drink some beer
Use the gent’s toilets, now that sure feels *****
I must stand up now when I use the loo
‘Shake hands with shorty’ now that’s quite a coup

I don’t shave my legs, it’s now my chin
Got a beer gut now when once I was thin
When I go to work I wear a suit not a dress
Am not really bothered if my hair is a mess
Causal jeans show my ‘builders bum’
When I turn round you see my overhanging tum 
 
I go out with my mates on a Friday night
Dance like a muppet – that’s quite a sight
Age old chat up lines – what a bore
Eye up the ladies oh I want to score
I truly can't envisage what its like to be male
I hope you enjoyed my tongue in cheek tale!

Jan Allison
5th May 2014

*reference to Stan comes from my poem written with Darren Watson called 'Our first meeting in the Isle of Man' 

I saw Richard had placed 6th in the recent 'women only contest' so thought I would chance it too with this poem that was written for Gender Bender Contest sponsored by Richard Lamoureaux  ~ Awarded 5th Place by Richard~ ~awarded 6th place by Kelly Deschler in the 'men only contest '... thank you for being a good sport Kelly!

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Skat A August 17, 2015 at 2:47 PM Jan, :-) Congratulations with your wonderful win! *SKAT* Jan Allison August 17, 2015 at 2:58 PM Thanks Skat:-) hugs Jan xx

Mark Trichet August 16, 2015 at 8:20 PM LOL, :) Congrats Jan! Would have a lot of us saying - to true...very witty Jan Allison August 17, 2015 at 2:35 AM Thanks Mark:-) hugs Jan xx

Paul Callus August 16, 2015 at 2:07 PM I still remember this witty write, Jan! I see that you entered this contest in disguise:) ~ Congratulations on placing in a men's only contest...quite a feat:)) Hugs // paul Jan Allison August 16, 2015 at 2:22 PM I thought if Richard could get away with it in the 'women only contest' then I would chance my luck - shhhh don't tell anyone else they may not notice I slipped through the radar lol:-) hugs Jan/Stan xx

Alexis Y. August 16, 2015 at 10:44 AM Jan, l enjoyed your tongue and cheek tale! I laughed out loud too. I enjoy the humor that you bring to the soup. Congratulations on your "gender bending" win:-) Alexis 7 Alexis Y. August 16, 2015 at 12:04 PM I will go have a look at Richard's poem. Jan Allison August 16, 2015 at 11:57 AM Thanks Alexis - I saw Richard had entered the women only contest with his gender bender poem so I thought I would be cheeky and do the same thing with mine - Kelly was great to give placements to us both:-) hugs Jan xx

Viv Wigley August 16, 2015 at 12:49 AM I couldn't think of a nicer bloke to share the bottom place with. Viv x Jan Allison August 16, 2015 at 5:04 AM Aww thanks Mr Viv:-) hugs jan xx

Kelly Deschler August 15, 2015 at 3:06 PM Congrats on 6th place!... A very clever and well written poem... This does deserve a higher placement, but because of the rules I could only give it a 6th... Really great work, Jan! Jan Allison August 16, 2015 at 5:05 AM Thanks Kelly - its great to be able to bend the rules a little bit - I do appreciate even being placed in a 'men only contest:-) hugs jan xx

Jan Allison August 15, 2015 at 12:55 PM A MASSIVE THANKS TO KELLY FOR BEING A GOOD SPORT AND PLACING ME 6th IN THIS CONTEST:-) HUGS JAN XX Kelly Deschler August 15, 2015 at 3:08 PM You're very welcome, Jan :) Your poem deserved recognition regardless of the rules!

Kelly Deschler June 22, 2014 at 1:31 AM I like the humor that you always put into your poems, Jan. It is a refreshing change to what I normally read on The Soup. Great work! Congratulations on your win! Jan Allison June 22, 2014 at 2:19 AM Thank you Kelly I do try and make people smile and thank you for commenting on this you have made my day:-) Hugs Jan xxx

Poet Destroyer A June 19, 2014 at 2:32 PM Hey Jan, nice hearing from you... thanks for the reply...Linda Jan Allison June 19, 2014 at 4:17 PM :-) xx

Tim Smith June 19, 2014 at 6:53 AM Stopping back...it is still hilarious...congrats Tim Jan Allison June 19, 2014 at 7:09 AM Thanks Tim I really enjoyed writing this was delighted Richard approved and it got such a great placement. Hugs Jan xxx

Poet Destroyer A June 18, 2014 at 11:34 PM Jan, Congratulations:)~ Enjoyed, reading every awesome poem on Richard's L, Gender Bender winning list. ... XoX.... LINDA Jan Allison June 18, 2014 at 11:59 PM Thanks Linda - I enjoyed reading them all too:-) Hugs Jan xxx

Paul Callus June 18, 2014 at 2:24 PM Congratulations Jan! What would we do in life were we to discard humour and just brood on our misfortunes and problems! We have to learn to strike a balance, for our own good. Life is too short! Take care. /x/ paul Jan Allison June 18, 2014 at 2:50 PM I usually try and add humour to all my writes if possible even if it just a twist at the end of the poem. Thanks for dropping by Paul. Hugs Jan xxxx

Skat A June 18, 2014 at 1:05 PM Jan, Congratulations on your sweet win, awesome Gender Bender win...SKAT Jan Allison June 18, 2014 at 1:28 PM Thanks for the lovely comment SKAT. Hugs Jan xxxx

Dr.Ram Mehta June 18, 2014 at 10:16 AM Congratulations on the fine win in the contest Gender Bender, Jan Allison June 18, 2014 at 10:57 AM Thank you for dropping by with your lovely comment Dr Mehta. Hugs Jan xx

Richard Lamoureux June 18, 2014 at 10:13 AM This was fun, congrats on your win in my contest. Jan Allison June 18, 2014 at 10:55 AM Oh Thank you so much Richard. It is an hour to be placed in your contest thank you so much. Hugs as ever Jan xxxx

Cecilia Macfarlane May 6, 2014 at 8:31 PM Smiling Jan, love your tale as Stan....awesome write! Hugs Jan Allison May 7, 2014 at 12:54 AM Glad it made you smile Cecilia. Hugs 'Stan' xxx

Vera Duggan May 6, 2014 at 7:28 PM That is so good Jan and funny and clever, good luck in the contest my friend...............Vera............ Jan Allison May 7, 2014 at 12:54 AM Thanks for dropping by Vera. Hugs Jan xxx

Darren Watson May 6, 2014 at 12:24 PM Amazing poem Jan. Any poem that finishes above this in the contest will win it , I hope none do, It is brilliant. Jan Allison May 6, 2014 at 12:26 PM You are too kind in your praise Darren. Hugs as ever your friend 'Stan' xxxx

Richard Palmer May 5, 2014 at 3:53 PM go get em Jan,dance like a puppet when you win the contesgreat write Jan Allison May 5, 2014 at 4:01 PM LOL Richard I promise I will dance if I get placed Hugs Jan xxxx

Alex Frankel May 5, 2014 at 3:35 PM Hi Jan, really enjoyed this ... Great entertainment and really clever :) Alex Jan Allison May 5, 2014 at 3:46 PM Thanks for the lovely comment Alex. Hugs Jan xxx

Deborah Shiells May 5, 2014 at 11:41 AM Hi Jan, That was clever my friend! loved it, Read it out loud! And lol. Good write as always:~) Peace, Deborah Jan Allison May 5, 2014 at 11:43 AM Thanks Deborah I know my sense of humour in my poems appeals to you. LOL. Hugs Jan xxxx

Nette Onclaud May 5, 2014 at 11:02 AM haha, i love both sides of you, jan... ohhh, you are awesome and extraordinary.. huggs Jan Allison May 5, 2014 at 11:09 AM I take that comment as high praise indeed Nette! I just try to find a humourous side to my poems and make people smile. Hugs Jan - loved your blog on meeting Jake you make such a lovely couple in the picture and the collaboration poem was divine.

Jack Horne May 5, 2014 at 10:06 AM LOL, had a good chuckle here : ) Jan Allison May 5, 2014 at 10:33 AM Thanks Jack, if I make someone smile with my work then I am truly happy. Hugs Jan xxx

Aiyah Torres May 5, 2014 at 8:37 AM nice to meet you, Stan!!! :O)) I can imagine a handsome guy walking towards me... and I blushed!!! ..wew!! ... great write as ever!! :O)) Jan Allison May 5, 2014 at 10:32 AM Lol Aiyah thanks for dropping by. Hugs Jan xxx

Jack Ellison May 5, 2014 at 6:46 AM Sure did!!! T'was a hoot!!! LOL The more I know of you, the more our similarities go so much further than our names!!! Loved it dear sis! Have a super day! Huhs, Brother Jack XOXOX Jan Allison May 5, 2014 at 6:51 AM Thanks Jack as long as it makes someone smile I'm happy :-) Off to take mum to visit dad in hospital now so need lots of laughter in my life to keep me going. Hugs dear brother jack you mean the world to me! Jan xxxx

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