Home » Poems » Victoria Lucas » Gaslit Nightmare

Gaslit Nightmare

Willingly, I ran
That was the first sign my life was falling apart
Strange bike that brought me back in one piece, damn you
That hope of abduction never came to fruition 
I am complacent in the wake of my life’s finale

Climbing those eight flights of stairs
Only to prolong my denial
Too choked to speak 
Life has always been easy 
I realize you are a hologram
Motion picture of a mother 
You are complacent in the wake of my life’s finale

Sent to bed at five o'clock
The same time it's been since yesterday
I fake asleep
When you walk in with my father
Coughing lies and webs of drunken incongruencies
I am complacent in the wake of my life's finale

We eat, and I sit by the water
Black tide splashing up to my toes
For a moment, I dream of drowning,
Fanatically gasping for air
I'm pulled away by the arrival of pasta
I do not eat, but rather stare as you finish
One, Two, Three, Four
Glasses of wine
I threaten to walk until I'm pacified
Moron, you call me 
As we arrive, safely
Climbing those eight flights of stairs
Only to prolong my denial 
My eyes are closed 
I fake asleep

Sober at midnight 
I said something that had scared you, though you don't quite remember
Please talk to you
I liked hearing you beg
Ignoring you in my bed,
I fake asleep

I wake up alone 
Breakfast waiting for me 
I do not eat. 
Yesterday did not happen
I'm seventy feet under
Quite easy it would be to die here, I think
I wish I had.
I was complacent in the wake of my life’s finale

Resurfacing, I refuse my favorite fruit 
I do not eat, but rather stare at the water
For a moment, I dream of drowning,
Fanatically gasping for air 
I’m complacent in the wake of my life’s finale 
We drive in silence 
Still crunchy from the salt
I fake asleep

I never woke up 
Hypnotized by your lies and 
The gaslit fire that kept me warm in my slumber
I dreamt of drowning,
Fanatically gasping for air
Until I fell still, complacent in the wake of my life’s finale

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.