Fury

Zak at fifteen is a grounded tanker spilling an oily vitriol as we listen "You know how I'm wired! Weed frees me! Chokes off the dark. Your bloody voices shame me! Messing me up! So I toke! Bleak dreams break me! Sometimes, hung over, I can't see the sun. What do you want? A Christmas Eve peace where we kiss in fake goo? Why all the BS about an elephant in the room? Everybody needs to stop talking about it! Stop looking at me like you want to see underneath it! Because I don't know what good is!" Outraged ire that snaps the air like cheap china crashing his pitch for freedom Toxic stares as he sweats in the ruling wreckage of words what is his unheard story? The family craves a sane peace, some zone of happiness silver bow of recovery Zak on speed dial turbulent straining at reason crossing an invisible border in the cradled heat of summer His self harm like a full body cast with no cure Poem composed: June 30, 2021 For: Let Er Rip #3 Sponsor: John Lawless

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Caren Krutsinger

Date: 7/17/2021 3:44:00 AM

This is fifteen so aptly displayed. "What do you want? A Christmas Eve peace where we kiss in fake goo? " Oh, yes, this is what we ALL want.

Brian Sambourne
Date: 7/17/2021 1:45:00 PM

Hi Caren, Your comments are always interesting. Thanks very much for reading + responding to my submission. Be well. Brian

Gary Radice

Date: 7/12/2021 2:11:00 AM

Powerful stuff Brian. You present Zak with his problems and his rage suggesting it could be fuelled by weed but leave open his story before. This is more than a generation gap. It may not appear so but Zak is crying out for help. I like it when a poem gets me involved, leaves me asking questions and wanting to know more. My thoughts only. Cheers - Gary

Brian Sambourne
Date: 7/12/2021 6:39:00 AM

Greetings Gary, Much appreciation for your insightful remarks. Yes, Zak's heavy weed hits are a cry for help. Something unspoken has fueled his anger, his addiction. To me, a poem should leave some motives, feelings, words in dark shadows. Thank you again, Brian

Rama Balasubramanian

Date: 7/11/2021 11:03:00 AM

well penned! Congratulations.

Brian Sambourne
Date: 7/11/2021 11:20:00 AM

Thank you, Rama, for your thoughtfulness. Cheers, Brian

Sam Kauffman

Date: 7/11/2021 8:58:00 AM

Very well done Brian. This is full of strong visual images and powerful imagery expressing the turbulence and turbulent! Congratulations on your win!

Brian Sambourne
Date: 7/11/2021 10:34:00 AM

Greetings Sam, You are a fine fellow, indeed, in your supportive comments. Thank you. Be well. Brian

Christuraj Alex

Date: 7/11/2021 7:41:00 AM

Well written. Congratulations!

Brian Sambourne
Date: 7/11/2021 7:43:00 AM

My appreciation for your drop by + congratulations. All the best, Brian

John Lawless

Date: 7/11/2021 7:23:00 AM

Brian, the opening of this poem is the perfect metaphor for the deceit of the addicted...both of themselves and others. Thanks for participating in the contest

Brian Sambourne
Date: 7/11/2021 7:32:00 AM

Hello John, Thanks very much for the high placement in your contest. Quite a fine prompt for writing: "Let er Rip." Best wishes, Brian

Susan Woodrow

Date: 6/30/2021 9:54:00 PM

Zak at 15 is obviously making enough to support his bad habit...the question is, how? Then the next question, is what dark does 15 years of life already know? Great write...had me thinking in various tangents...like to not know what good is at that age is very strange...and yet, youngsters have always seen so much more than their parents or elders thought... fury on both sides of the generation gap so darn cliche, I wish evolution would speed the heck up lol ...enjoyed the read :)

Brian Sambourne
Date: 6/30/2021 10:10:00 PM

Hello Susan, Thank you for your insightful comments. You're right that the generation clash is something of a cliche. And yet (sometimes) a cliche has become one because of its repetitive presence that persists. How does Zak support his weed habit? That's problematic. Unexplored. But if my piece gave the reader a moment's pause in thought, then I am gladdened. Thank you for the stop by. Cheers, Brian