Frying Pan (Rewrite)

...inspired by 'Blues' by Joseph Brodsky


Many springs have come and gone,
the city roars and wheezes,
concrete monsters block the prospect
and restrain the balmy breezes.

Summers stifle, streets are steaming,
hydrants bring some small relief,
merchants battle with the street gangs,
struggle on in blind belief.

Canyons strangle, subways throttle,
autumn bleeds its red and gold,
chilly now as winter beckons
with its shroud of killing cold.

Jersey summons 'cross the river,
yet another frying pan,
in the cauldron of convection,
cradle of the modern man.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2009



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Date: 3/26/2009 6:13:00 AM
Dear Keith, What a difference a few words make between YOUR repost and rewrite I feel "autumn bleeds" is more poignant than "autumn spreads" in either POEM Great vivid message Thank-YOU for YOUR Gracious Comments Carolyn is to me a POETIC PRINCESS LOVE her Writes as I do YOURS ALWAYS...HG
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Date: 3/15/2009 11:50:00 AM
Thanks again Keith. Very cool to read his first then yours. Also living in NJ makes it just a tad bit cooler. Truly awesome write and great to read once again from a slightly different perspective. Love, Shar
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Date: 3/12/2009 4:54:00 PM
"autumn bleeds its red and gold" superbly observed, superbly written. Great poetry.
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Date: 3/10/2009 3:31:00 PM
Wonderful write! Good contest entry for 5 Elements 5 scenses contest. Elements used Wind (breezes) Water (steaming/ hydrant) Earth (canyons) Metal (subway throttle, cold) Fire (red& gold) Senses Sound ( roar wheeze) Water (river)..you go guy!!! EVOCATIVE
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Date: 3/5/2009 4:07:00 PM
I think the greatest genius of poetry lies in the power to convey specific thought freely and yet retain the ability to find the perfect words to keep the rhyme. What strikes me most is your diction and your use of metaphors: pure genius. Ema
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Date: 3/3/2009 7:56:00 AM
Excellent Imagery, tone, flow and figurative language -- Keith, this is truly a superb write throughtout. Always a pleasure to read for you my friend. God's Love and Many Blessings, Always, Adell
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Date: 3/1/2009 2:34:00 PM
Interesting images carry your thoughts in a creative way. Nice use of alliteration! Keep on writing. Karen
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Date: 3/1/2009 2:43:00 AM
Nice written images, "the city roars and wheezes, nice line. Great Job Keith...Raul
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Date: 2/28/2009 5:54:00 PM
Why you....I still love this piece, though I see you've changed the last two lines!:) Kinda tricky..definitely makes me take a harder look at what I'm reading! A wonderful write, Keith. Thank you for your last comment...it was inspiring and I did sit down and start writing, until I had to run out to do other things.:( It's not from lack of ideas, just that eveything else is in limbo. God's blessing to you! Wishing you the best....Love, Mikki
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Date: 2/26/2009 6:08:00 PM
This is fantastic! You've perfected your piece with gripping precision, Keith! Good to read you again. Donna G.
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Date: 2/26/2009 11:56:00 AM
The big city a cauldron of confusion. Describes it so well. Excellent write. God Bless Phyl
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Date: 2/26/2009 8:35:00 AM
Just love those last three lines Keith'yet another frying pan, in the cauldron of confusion, cradle of the modern man. An observation write great poetry.Rgds Brian & thanks for your welcome comments ,
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Date: 2/26/2009 8:08:00 AM
Keith, you have a very skillful command of language that creates vivid images. "Concrete monsters" and "the cauldron of confusion" are but a few that grace this well written verse. Thanks for your comments on "Moon Child." Love, Carolyn
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Date: 2/26/2009 7:06:00 AM
Keith, I cannot find a poem called "Blues" by Joseph Brodsky. Can you possibly help me with a link? Your poem is completely amazing, and I would love to read the poem it was inspired by, too. Thanks if you are able to. Love, Shar
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Date: 2/26/2009 6:29:00 AM
I love this as it clearly depicts the life within the big city. The rhyme and clarity is phenomenal. Michael
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