Caren Krutsinger Poet Narrative

From Shy To Outspoken

I went from shy to outspoken
I have Trixie to thank for it.
Trixie was everything I wanted to be but was not.
She was loud, proud; self-confidence oozed out of her in every direction.
When we were in our early twenty's, Trixie was murdered.
This darling, wonderful, everybody-wanted-to-be person was gone.
Snuffed out by Devil-Only-Knows-Who.

This is when I decided if "they" could get Trixie, they could get anybody including me.
I was so shy in those days, I looked down in a mirror.
I rarely smiled, afraid to draw attention to myself.
I was a young mother of two, and terrified I would die 
before I ever got to live.
I did not have to be Trixie, but I had to live for both 
her and myself now.
I felt this was my mission, my duty, and it became my mantra.

I did not change overnight, but I had metamorphosed
so completely within six months, that my aunt who has known me
all of my life asked my mother "who I was", and truly did not seem
to recognize me.
We are happy women, Trixie, and I.
I feel she is in heaven, cheering me on, loving the fact
That her death changed me from an ugly frog into a wonderful, upbeat, happy, inspired, enthusiastic, creative princess.

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M. L. Kiser April 10, 2019 at 6:45 PM NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Not Trixie!!! She can't be dead!!! We must retain the inner child so our muse can successfully imagine, every day and an army of our inner children can protect a muse. Caren Krutsinger April 10, 2019 at 10:58 PM Trixie the muse is a completely different Trixie, for sure! But in the back of my mind, maybe this is how she got her name.

Gershon Wolf April 10, 2019 at 4:09 PM Trixie and you are one, inseparable... What a wonderful, inspiring story. Somehow, Trixie knows all this, and is beaming at you from the next dimension of existence. :) gw Caren Krutsinger April 10, 2019 at 10:58 PM Thank you my friend; I do believe she DOES know; I am counting on it.

Rhona Mcferran April 10, 2019 at 12:36 AM Strange how we sometimes glean the inspiration and courage to change from the most tragic (and seemingly unlikely) events... Glad that she inspired you to live to your fullest potential! ;) Caren Krutsinger April 10, 2019 at 5:27 AM She truly was; she was something else. I was in "awe of her"; we ALL were! She came in as first runner-up in a contest of "Miss Iowa" when she was 17. The judges told her parents she would have won it if she had been 18. She was really something!

Panagiota Romios April 10, 2019 at 12:23 AM Wonderful, Caren you hsad such a great friend in your life, Thanks for sharing her with us. Panagiota Caren Krutsinger April 10, 2019 at 5:28 AM She was actually an acquaintance of mine, however, a year older, in my husband's class, and his best friend through gradeschool. I was a best friend of her little sister, and I still am.