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From Shy to Outspoken

I went from shy to outspoken
I have Trixie to thank for it.
Trixie was everything I wanted to be but was not.
She was loud, proud; self-confidence oozed out of her in every direction.
When we were in our early twenty's, Trixie was murdered.
This darling, wonderful, everybody-wanted-to-be person was gone.
Snuffed out by Devil-Only-Knows-Who.

This is when I decided if "they" could get Trixie, they could get anybody including me.
I was so shy in those days, I looked down in a mirror.
I rarely smiled, afraid to draw attention to myself.
I was a young mother of two, and terrified I would die 
before I ever got to live.
I did not have to be Trixie, but I had to live for both 
her and myself now.
I felt this was my mission, my duty, and it became my mantra.

I did not change overnight, but I had metamorphosed
so completely within six months, that my aunt who has known me
all of my life asked my mother "who I was", and truly did not seem
to recognize me.
We are happy women, Trixie, and I.
I feel she is in heaven, cheering me on, loving the fact
That her death changed me from an ugly frog into a wonderful, upbeat, happy, inspired, enthusiastic, creative princess.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2019

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Date: 4/10/2019 6:45:00 PM
NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Not Trixie!!! She can't be dead!!! We must retain the inner child so our muse can successfully imagine, every day and an army of our inner children can protect a muse.
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Caren Krutsinger
Date: 4/10/2019 10:58:00 PM
Trixie the muse is a completely different Trixie, for sure! But in the back of my mind, maybe this is how she got her name.
Date: 4/10/2019 4:09:00 PM
Trixie and you are one, inseparable... What a wonderful, inspiring story. Somehow, Trixie knows all this, and is beaming at you from the next dimension of existence. :) gw
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Caren Krutsinger
Date: 4/10/2019 10:58:00 PM
Thank you my friend; I do believe she DOES know; I am counting on it.
Date: 4/10/2019 12:36:00 AM
Strange how we sometimes glean the inspiration and courage to change from the most tragic (and seemingly unlikely) events... Glad that she inspired you to live to your fullest potential! ;)
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Caren Krutsinger
Date: 4/10/2019 5:27:00 AM
She truly was; she was something else. I was in "awe of her"; we ALL were! She came in as first runner-up in a contest of "Miss Iowa" when she was 17. The judges told her parents she would have won it if she had been 18. She was really something!
Date: 4/10/2019 12:23:00 AM
Wonderful, Caren you hsad such a great friend in your life, Thanks for sharing her with us. Panagiota
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Caren Krutsinger
Date: 4/10/2019 5:28:00 AM
She was actually an acquaintance of mine, however, a year older, in my husband's class, and his best friend through gradeschool. I was a best friend of her little sister, and I still am.