Friendly Fire
Your eyes were roaming over my ruined life
And I could feel the shame rising up
A hurricane in my chest, hot winds ripping through my body
I could have collapsed under the pressure of your silence
Time. Tick. Tick. Tick.
My mouth spewing forth useless words
Fill the empty space and drown a little more
Gasping. Clawing. Failing.
Please go.
I'm not normal anymore
My world revolves somewhere outside of the boundary of goodness
I'm untouchable now
Not like you or you or him
And the pity seeping out of you,
It burns like I'm drinking bleach
And my need is struggling to be seen
You've done all you can for me
Just walk away
And tell me to take care
And let me be forgotten.
Maybe you think I don't want to be like you
Or that I cannot manage being alive
Incapable of connection
Maybe unworthy.
I'd take your brutal honesty
But nobody has spoken to me in years
Nobody has tried to reach beneath the fog
I'm not worth that kind of effort.
It's okay. Just go.
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