Forgotten Wife

Forgotten Wife 
WHY?
I’ve asked the question, 
A thousand times or more,
What more could I have done?
As I really didn’t understand
What changed?
What had changed this man? 
That man I first married.

Ever a handsome fella 
Dressed in khaki clothe,
Fresh faced,
Gentle, caring,
Considerate loving husband,
Before going off 
To that stinken foreign Asian war,
Off to an unknown uncertainty.

But the return of my warrior
With loving arms a beckoning,
For him
Discharged and released
Into this brand new horizon,
Subtle changes first unnoticed
In having my man returned
Expecting a life of wedded bliss
And endless joy of peace.

However I the wife
Began to have this battle
Of fighting an unknown war
Where bouts of anger,
Sulkiness,
Depression,
Suspicions easily aroused,
Periods of unexplained darkness
Of something bottled within
Easily the order of the day.

His children who knew naught
Of happenings abound,
From a father who found 
Everyday faults so many
Drove a wedge 
Between parenthood 
And the siblings of his groin
Forcing them out into a world 
Of the unexpected
Out there 
Into an misunderstanding world of unknown.

As loyal wife of long ago,
Taken vows “till death us do part”
Now a suffer in total silence,
Tormented by the grief
Sometimes in disbelief,
This deep seated anger, 
Which smoldered 
Like an un-erupted overdue volcano 
Deep inside the belly,
Every day became like torture
In trying to understand
What really changed my man?

As I now do sit
On this carpet 
Of lush green grass,
A lonely tear rolls down 
Head bowed 
In deep respect,
For me now a reality,
He has left the place
Truly gone forever,
Off to his lastingly resting place
And for this old soldier boy
‘Tis for him a much better rest
Than all the confusion of his mind.

I gaze!
I fix my eyes on bronze plaque,
His name, 
Rank and serial number inscribed
An azalea grows in a terracotta pot
Marking the spot
Where they lowered the casket
Three days after that fateful day,
The day they buried my man.

I being the widow,
The mother, 
And once his wife
Must now have inner strength,
“O God I wish I had more,
But why Lord oh why!
When he returned,
I still ask the question
What did change?
My lover,
My husband,
My man!

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