Forgotten

Dear Diary I wish I could put in words how I feel, know how they feel... whether they are as intense as I am... whether I matter to her as much as she does to me. What this all means.... what lies beneath the cruel intensions? I want to say we didn't pick things we hated about me and her... and I'd like to say I didn't envy her for being so brave. I'd like to say she's not everything I aspire to have one day... but one day is one day. I want to grow up now... my hats don't fit, shoes are too tight and I'm bursting out of my room. My dreams and my reality are far too far apart... yes there goes another friend that I wanted to save. To mend... because I trust, I hurt... we cry, we project... I lie, I push... You pretend. If it please you I would not let you go, I would like to live first...to return when invited in - to put together all the broken pieces. Slowly, I will win your heart... please trust that we play no games when it comes to life and love. It is purposeful and alive... diary I wish you knew them, but now they seem like oily marks on grey walls.