Forgive Yourself

I walked out of the door Into the crowded street Hoping I am invisible... almost like the dust Untouchable. Let me get by. Unnoticed. Unjudged. Quietly. I was alone. Walking among millions. I had little left in me. But in the subconscious mind the dream was still calling. Said I must go on. A crazy naked man on the street -yelled. "Forgive yourself", he said. "Let go." I was scared. Did he see me? Somehow notice that heavyness in the heart I was carrying along? "Forgive yourself." He said again. "Embrace that beautiful soul- With everything you lack and never had. Cause if you don't, no one else will. Let go. Love, breathe and feel" I walked as fast as I could From him. From myself. I refused to feel, feel that I was too scared To embrace myself. And everything that was a part of me. The scars. The daunting loneliness. The intensity. The fear. The rejection. And the dream. But then I found a store on the roadside Selling the magic pills. I gulp one down the throat. And then it was another me. Disconnected with the pain. Stepped onto the gleeful streets. The sun on my face. I suppose I forgave myself. Except, don't know who that self was.