Forever Awakening From Deep Sleep

Unshakeable groggy state plagues mein kampf impossible mission to awaken this comatose zombie drugged horror - by potent self manufactured narcotic - oppressive tantalizing nightmares indistinguishable when supposedly conscious, eyes cannot differentiate dusky "reality" from twilit zoned lifelike slumbers confused with medication induced hallucinations ferrying me to lands unknown lack proper visa to allow this migrant citizenship, cannot escape tangled web spun since birth threads tensile strength beyond realm of destruction incredibly dynamic force defies sophisticated contraption to measure even against most powerful dynamometer, no contest when utmost might, sans primal scream regarding non anesthetized excruciating spinal tap daily visited on this beastie boy, no matter summoning every last ounce of mine (billeted) willpower foregone conclusion collusion effectually ranked less than lame duck effort defeated, jackknifed, stymied... every step of the weigh I loathe forlorn doomed curse, a worse fate than death, no life worth living when bereft of interpersonal, "normal", relational... trappings, yet death not available for this walled in hostage imprisoned within inescapable Alcatraz every blinkered instant nsync with pseudo fictional realistic psychedelic dreams mocking (this bird – dodo) man cave existence, a mere abysmal charade, facade, jade did minimalistic functionality, where suicide an irrevocable unfair punishment to Shana Punim precious daughter, whose caterwauling... would wake grateful dead!