For Thomas

I'm walking out into the gorgeous summer day
and I feel nothing at all;
not the warmth of the sun,
the melodies of songbirds,
nor the cars driving by my street
who haven't the slightest clue of what just transpired
a mere twenty minutes ago.
Yeah, since the news came to me
not one lighthearted thought comes to mind.

I'm in the back of the store, doing dishes to pass the time
and I can't help but wander if anyone notices
the blooming roses on my cheeks.
They'd probably say something encouraging like
"Way to attack those dishes!".
Believe me it's not for efficiency's sake,
I'm MAD, and it just so happens to bring emphasis
to the saying "Use a little elbow grease".
Anymore and I might just a punch a hole through the plastic...

Yeah, since the news came to me
things became way too real.
I no longer felt like radiation that refuses to leave the atmosphere.
No I felt much more akin to a ticking time bomb
in the middle of the Sahara desert.
I could die at anytime
and it wouldn't matter what I was doing:
Sitting on the sofa, devouring a bag of Lays
and then passing out on salt overdose,
Or walking my dog because the weather was nice,
and then crossing paths with a baseball sized meteorite.
I try to stick to the bright side of things,
but the fact remains you died too soon, Tom.
I wonder what flashed through you head
just seconds before driving over that IED.
In a selfish way I'd like to think you thought of me
in those final moments, but I know that's silly.
If I was a piece in your day-to-day life
you would need a microscope
to even notice I was there at all.

As I sit here writing this
I recall the time we watched Texas Chainsaw Massacre,
on Halloween night in the old Stonehouse.
We thought that was gory then,
but it's most likely child's play to the stuff
you must have seen in the last three years.
The saddest thing of all for me
is something irrefutably petty,
but it comes to mind nonetheless.
You paid for my movie ticket
when we went and saw The Dark Knight.
I remember how sure and confident I was when I beamed
"I'll pay you back for this. Next time I see you!".
Well that ship has long since sailed.
Perhaps someday we'll meet again, mate,
but for now it's just a waiting game.
And today that feels like the game where nobody wins
it's just something we play...



NOTE: Two days ago I found out a good friend of mine died in Afghanistan. He was a soldier, and barely four years older than me...
Copyright © | Year Posted 2013

Poem

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Buil Avatar
May 14, 2013 at 9:09 AM
I am deeply sorry, Timothy. It hurts losing a friend. A friend of mine is going to the Marines, and it's hard not knowing if you'll ever see them again... I cried in your poem. So sad, and well written. Always keep those memories of your friends...
Hicks Avatar
May 14, 2013 at 2:06 PM
Thanks for the support... it means a lot. This was the first time I lost someone close to me... it isn't easy, but I'm coping.
Carrillo Avatar
May 8, 2013 at 1:31 PM
Timmy; This is a good tribute to your friend. You told me that you had written a poem for your friend, so I came back to read it. My nephew is in Aghanistan now. He has been there for 4 years, but only working, still they are not safe. I just posted another poem. Have a great day... Lucilla
Hicks Avatar
May 9, 2013 at 12:16 AM
Thanks for reading my tribute. I hope your nephew remains safe and sound, and stays out of danger!
Seal Avatar
May 8, 2013 at 11:10 AM
Last week, 19 US, 3 Brit service personell died in Afghanistan. We are all sorry for these sacrifices, I'm with you Tim. Take care, Richard
Hicks Avatar
May 9, 2013 at 12:15 AM
Thanks for your understanding Richard. I appreciate it more than you know...
Lamoureux Avatar
May 7, 2013 at 11:36 AM
I can't say enough, I am so sorry for your loss. This is an amazing tribute and allows us a small glimpse of your sorrow. I am saying a prayer for you and your friend.
Lamoureux Avatar
May 8, 2013 at 8:27 AM
In reality he is not, he has just vacated his earthly shell.
Hicks Avatar
May 7, 2013 at 10:40 PM
Thank you Rick! You are indeed an awesome friend... it's hard to accept that he's really gone...
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