Focus

church bells banging against the glass shattering fragments en masse i open my eyes, stare at the paper i need to focus, i have to focus. the mirror shards are tight against my skin there’s barely a layer of flesh keeping me in i close my eyes, point my head at the paper. i need to focus, i have to focus. why can’t i focus? i need to focus. what’s so wrong with me? why can’t i be who i need me to be? what happened to my glee? where is she? the clatter of bell-rings screams in my head i’ll just fidget with my hands instead. i open my eyes, stare at the paper. i need to focus, i have to focus. i look in a glass scrap mirrored at my face holes have been picked across the space i close my eyes, point my head at the paper. i need to focus, i have to focus. why can’t i focus? i need to focus. what’s so wrong with who I am? why can’t i be better than a sham? why do i give too much of a damn? i just need to get with the program. i need to focus.