Flappable, Gruntled, and Plussed

I'm new to this language; it baffles me so! With so many mysteries I wish to know: Why doesn't 'resolve' mean 'to solve it again'? And why are 'wise guys' not the same as 'wise men'? Why doesn't 'extraneous' mean 'once was traneous'? Why's 'miscellaneous' not NOT cellaneous? Enigmas that seem to me very unmappable, Unflappable me has become simply flappable. "You're incorrigible", my friend Mike said to me, I said, "Corrigible I'll endeavor to be." One museum we saw had a fossil exhibit I asked, "Every bone was at one time a hibit?" "I don't care for inquisitive people", said Mike. So I asked, "What's a quisitive person look like?" He looked at me plussed with a look of disgust, now I hope I can change it to gust and nonplussed. "Disgruntled employees", my boss said, distressed, "are a pain in the neck!" I thought, "gruntled is best!" He scolds my appearance: "Your hair is unkempt", so I'm bringing a comb to make sure it stays kempt. "Avoid work mishaps, and do not act unruly". "Yes sir, boss. I'll only make ruly haps, truly" He tells me, "Just try not to look so disheveled." My note to self: make it my goal to look sheveled. "Intrepid Improvements" the work poster says "Avoid trepid provements" is my New Year's res. "Such reckless abandon" someone said to me so from now on, more reckful I'm hoping to be. I've tried to appear nonchalant and undaunted, I'm daunted that I'm more chalant than I wanted. This poem I'll write in indelible ink - …much better than delible ink, don't you think?