First Thing You Should Know

First thing you should know, is that this isn’t a poem, this isn’t a story, this isn’t a 
song,
these are just words I write to hopefully ease the pain.
Alone, bitterness, horror, emptiness, loss of basic will.  How is it you could do this to 
me, how can your absence leave me so bereaved to the world.  I try to smile, but it 
never reaches my eyes, I try to laugh but it never reaches my heart.  It’s like your 
absence has left a damn in my veins, blocking any emotion, but pain to pass through.  
How is it your absence, can so drastically change my daily life.  How can I sit in a 
house surrounded by loving caring friends, and still feel utterly alone. How is it that I 
couldn’t explain how much I loved you, and now I can’t seem to explain how much 
this hurts.  How could we go from being so perfect, that our friends envied us, to 
feeling like were better apart.  How does the alcohol, and cigarettes not dull the 
pain.  Hell for that matter what can.  What can make the absolute horror of losing the 
one thing that made everything worth it, go away.  How do you go on when you lose 
that.  If I feel like I could never have left you, that I would have always tried, but u 
left me, does that mean it was all one sided.  How could it be so easy for you to 
move on, whilst I’m still crippled by pain.  And if it was only one sided what does that 
mean for me, if you were THE ONE but I wasn’t yours where does that leave the rest 
of my life.  Am I doomed to walk this plane in misery.  Will I be much like this 
computer I sit in front of, lonely, devoid of all meaning until someone has a use for it, 
operating only because someone else tells it too.  But then again, what if it wasn’t all 
one sided, what if I was THE ONE for you as well, what does that mean, will I find a 
way to get back to you, how long will it take, what will it take, is it possible.  
Everyone has a story of loss and of pain, but for some reason I don’t believe they 
understand, much the way they didn’t understand our love.
First thing you should know, is that this isn’t a poem, this isn’t a story, this isn’t a 
song,
these are just words I write to hopefully ease the pain.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2011

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Brown Avatar
March 7, 2011 at 10:39 AM
Congratulations on your well deserved poetry being featured on PoetrySoup this week Brandon. Love, Carol
Carver Avatar
February 26, 2011 at 4:39 PM
There are many things I hope for going through this, many contradictory, but in the end I hope for the best. Thank you always for your incite and support of my stuff(??)
Frayer Avatar
February 25, 2011 at 8:28 PM
I know you have probably heard this before but I was once where you are and I wrote the way you are writing now I even contemplated not being here anymore my misery had me as far as it could take me finally I met someone who somehow changed everything I don't know how but he did and I'm like this whole new person now, I'm not saying that this is what is in the cards for you but something is know that. I hope you find your way luv ~Virginia
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