First Cut

In my darkest times I yearn to bleed, It’s what I need for this hate to be freed, One slow gentle cut just enough to shut - Out the pressure inside from which I’m desperate to hide. Just a trickle of blood that feels like a flood, A tsunami of hymns bleeding my sins, It’s a silent addiction, A poetic affliction, Just a nick here and there, It’s not like anyone cares, One slow gentle cut just enough to shut- out the voices I hear that fill me with fear, Just to feel the release of that beautiful peace, Just the smallest of cuts, Just to deal with this crux. I’ve tried and I’ve prayed but these feelings won’t fade, I’ve ran out of options all I’ve left is this blade, Don’t judge me don’t sneer, Unless you’ve been here your won’t know what it’s like, It’s a hopeless fight, One slow gentle cut just enough to free - all this hate inside that’s killing me.