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Fire-Breathing Mama Comes to School

Fire Breathing Mama Comes to School
She was snorting fire and breathing nails.
It was the first time I had met her, so I was taken aback.
Just a bit.
Her children had told me she did not care about them.
They were wrong.
She cared a lot.

She came into the school office and roasted up the
desks, lighting them up like the 4th of July with pure anger.
Apparently someone had called her child an ***.
What? A teacher? Surely not.

She dragged her scales around in an arrogant way,
Throwing people into hallways with her bulk.
Bullying her way into every corner, demanding to
be heard.

The teacher was summoned.
Luckily it was her twelve-minute lunch time.
She came running.
The child would not back down.
She insisted the teacher had called her an ***.
The teacher was confused. She knew she had not.
Suddenly she recalled something.
“I know,” she said, “I said that out of all the asinine answers I have ever heard, that one was the most creative.”
She was instructed by the principal to never use the word ‘asinine’ again.
The dragon lady was given a dictionary. She reluctantly stopped roasting the staff. All over now. Maybe.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2019




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Date: 4/4/2019 7:13:00 PM
Oh, dear Caren, I'm so happy I didn't pursue my original vocation to be a teacher!!! To hear how some parents talk about their little darlings or Einsteins, you'd think they were all immaculately conceived! / This poem had me laughing as did the comments. / M
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Caren Krutsinger
Date: 4/4/2019 8:00:00 PM
I am so glad you liked it; it is pretty much true, lots of pieces of other stories but still true from different directions.
Date: 4/4/2019 7:12:00 AM
A choice word...oh boy. The funniest one was when the principal told me she was speaking to one after school child for using the “f” word. She came to me afterward relieved when she said the word was “fart”...lol
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Caren Krutsinger
Date: 4/4/2019 8:32:00 AM
This is HILARIOUS. I love it when they say she called me the "z" word and none of us can figure it out and they refuse to say it.
Date: 4/4/2019 6:40:00 AM
I recommend burt's bees salve for those burns...it's wonderful. Maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea to outfit the teachers with some emergency asbestos suits?
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Caren Krutsinger
Date: 4/4/2019 8:32:00 AM
Yes, and the gas masks too. I will ponder how we can write a grant for this.
Date: 4/4/2019 3:32:00 AM
Hehehehe! What a fun read. Loved how she dragged her scales around and threw people into the hallways with her bulk. Brilliant! :)
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Date: 4/4/2019 2:26:00 AM
Some mothers are very much like an ass. They jump to conclusions. All they need is a carrot.
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