Fire

How easy it is to look outside of our self and lash out at our tangible surrounds and full them up with our negative emotions, has this been passed down to me is a gift from my father as the appropriate way of dealing with my emotions which I find hard to understand. How easy is it to be angry as I know this feeling very well, as I can feel it burn my tummy up? It hits the top of my head then flows to my hands. How hard I find this to control, as this is what I have been taught to do, without hesitation I can bring the pain up and allow it to absorb all around me engulfing my family in the fire that rages in me. I now have to distinguish my fire and notice my love ones are burning, yet I have to spit and burn the pain out of me, now I can move and be alive until the anger boils again and the fire engulfs all I have known. Why do I know so much about outside me , why do I see and believe what I see outside me, why does the burning start outside and then heads inside myself where I cannot understand, where I cannot see , how do I control something that is blinded to me and I cannot understand why.