Finally Fine

Finally “Fine” It’s exhausting being so goddamn fine all the time It’s not like it’s a facade anymore It’s just the new me I don’t get upset I can’t cry I can’t be happy The only emotion I feel is anger but that’s not even red I just feel fine I miss being sad and depressed I knew that I felt that Now, I don’t feel anything I want to be upset but I can’t Things just roll off my shoulders and I get it It doesn’t even sound like a problem but it is because I don’t feel like me I feel like a stranger in my own skin There’s a disconnect And as much as it hurts to feel I want to be connected with that pain again It doesn’t feel right to not be