Fighting To Live

Outwardly I may appear mildly angry. Inside an inferno rages. In my head the voices whisper, and I fight what they tell me, I blare music to drown it out. Alone, I fight, as always. I can't trust anyone enough to let them in. I play my part, and I try hard to hide. I staple my mask to my face and the blood trickles down, on the inside. Running into my eyes, filling my mouth, and I suffocate on my emotions. My heart slowly ices over. I wake each day hoping my mask won't slip. Hoping I can control my panic My despair, my numbness My misery. I paint a smile on my face, on top of the mask, while the battle rages on in my mind. The voices, they whisper, they remind me my guns on my desk, my pills are in my drawer They nudge at me while driving one sharp turn and I'll be no more. I can't stop the pain that's destroying me Inside. and still I fight.