Fighting Ignorance

Avoided pain is the cause of pain itself By pain, I learn to control myself Because the madness creates the unknown Where all my past and all my flaws are shown Through the light unwanted By the past that is haunted The past that doesn't define me But sometimes takes control of me Unaware I sit and ponder While my thoughts are described as somber A dark and gloomy gaze to take away the pain Through whatever that can keep me sane I will never get bad again Yet I create signs on my flesh with a homemade pen Scared of my own self Not knowing who controls myself The corrupt actions that people brought in my life Or the hand that holds knife The constant struggle of consoling people that you're ok When inside you try to hide the war you might portray You think the pity will make you weak And not being strong enough to achieve the happiness you seek You are surrounded by the world Being just a rock while everyone is a pearl Trying to fit the mold you never were meant to conform to Trying to obtain the real you But not knowing who or what you're obtaining Leads to a life that's straining Like an endless search to find your shadow in the darkness When the sky that is, is starless, I'm not saying I'm not blessed And I'm not settling this life as my best I am loved, cared for, important and can make a difference But my mind can't fight the ignorance I will be ok one day Because my God will make a way But today I am only halfway