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Fictitious Line

Smokes of cigarettes and mugs full of coffee, next to the fictitious line where the eddy of words leans against and nods, wounded, to my silence.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2008




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Date: 2/18/2016 1:40:00 AM
LOVE IT
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Date: 11/30/2015 12:26:00 PM
awesome
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Date: 5/28/2013 8:40:00 AM
Excellent
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Date: 12/26/2008 10:41:00 PM
Nice write.... *Breana
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Date: 12/21/2008 3:04:00 AM
This creates a great imagery. It works, on one level, as a photograph and as another as a painting. The words capture the colours well and there is nothing that drowns out the moment. My only doubt is the use of 'my' in the final line. I don't think that the flow of the poem would be unsettled if that syllable was removed and I think that it would be a good summary of the narrative if the line read to silence' instead. I might be wrong though!
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Date: 12/20/2008 8:28:00 PM
Great write, very interesting use of words, I liked this. Welcome to the soup! Keep it up! blessings, ~Michaela~
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