Fictitious Line

Smokes
of cigarettes
and mugs
full of coffee,
next
to the fictitious line
where the eddy
of words
leans against
and nods,
wounded,
to my silence.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2008

Poem

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A   Avatar
February 18, 2016 at 1:40 AM
LOVE IT
A  Avatar
November 30, 2015 at 12:26 PM
awesome
Konos Avatar
May 28, 2013 at 8:40 AM
Excellent
Wiggins Avatar
December 26, 2008 at 10:41 PM
Nice write.... *Breana
Joe Avatar
December 21, 2008 at 3:04 AM
This creates a great imagery. It works, on one level, as a photograph and as another as a painting. The words capture the colours well and there is nothing that drowns out the moment. My only doubt is the use of 'my' in the final line. I don't think that the flow of the poem would be unsettled if that syllable was removed and I think that it would be a good summary of the narrative if the line read to silence' instead. I might be wrong though!
Payne Avatar
December 20, 2008 at 8:28 PM
Great write, very interesting use of words, I liked this. Welcome to the soup! Keep it up! blessings, ~Michaela~
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