Feeling Empty
When we first split up,
he still remained my
continuous connection
to my heart which made me
not stop running back to our past
when we met and fell in love.
I am not ready for tomorrow
to come,as i didn't know
how to be in this world
without him.
I have to stop judging myself
and him by those unreal standards
in which i made myself ill.
A sad beginning for me is to come
to an intellectual understanding,
that i was timid around him
because my father was a remote
and distant figure who never
gave me any support and love needed
to tolerate myself in those
variety of afflictions in me,
like,complaint,ailment,
and misery.
I will need imagination in dealing
with these problems,like,
creativity,vision,inspirations,
fascination and passion.
That will be a start
to my way out of the problems
of shame, which has been created
by me long ago, before we met.
Those were the reasons why
my dreams of remaining in love,
were actually being blown away
by the wind at that split second.
A door was ajar at the end
of my passage when a face seemed
to stare at me from the mirror,
as i got closer it withdrew
into darkness.
So was my love.
Terry.
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