Home » Poems » Susan Ashley » Fated Hell

Fated Hell

Slovenly sorrows cause a blur,
Shameful shallows seep and stir.
He whimpers; a cowering cur,
Deathbed's deals, give-take, now occur.
Soul dried, bunched ball of prickly burr
Waste-of-time tears, goad like a spur.

Apologies, are but a slur,
Regrets besmirch like rancid myrrh.
Slanderers’ stooge, no amateur,
Souls sold, Evil’s entrepreneur.
Atropos to cut; F A T E S concur
Time to let loose this saboteur! 

“Burn in H E L L”,  said the whisperer…


Susan Ashley
July 28, 2017


~ Third Place ~
Contest: Early August Standard
Sponsor: Brian Strand

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Paul Callus

Date: 12/7/2017 12:15:00 PM

Rhyme behaves like putty under your fingers, Susan...not by accident, but by patience & keen attention; same applies to alliteration...you are mistress of both! The subject matter is deep and dark, and at the end of it there is a strong wish to break away. ~ Warm regards // paul

Susan Ashley
Date: 12/7/2017 6:39:00 PM

I appreciate your lovely and generous words of praise Paul. You have made my day with your wonderfully insightful thoughts and I thank you from my heart for both your kind visit and beautiful comments. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Edward Mccall

Date: 9/8/2017 10:46:00 AM

A splendid use of cryptic vocabulary woven together to create a dark yet intriguing muse. Very well done Susan.

Susan Ashley
Date: 9/8/2017 2:19:00 PM

Hi Edward, I'm so happy that my muse was able to intrigue you! :) Thank you very much for your wonderful and encouraging comment and also much appreciation for your kind visit. I hope you have a great weekend! Susan

Gregory Richard Barden

Date: 7/31/2017 9:21:00 PM

Exquisitely phrased and darkly-tinged work of imagination and creativity ... I adored this, Susan, and have to Fav it ... congrats on your well-deserved win! :-)

Susan Ashley
Date: 8/1/2017 3:39:00 PM

Wow Greg! Thank you so very much for your deeply appreciated comment. I have just started to write poetry and your opinion is very important to this 'apprentice poet'; as I follow your work and think it amazing. Thank you for reading and commenting on my work and for the Fav! :)