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Fated Hell

Slovenly sorrows cause a blur, Shameful shallows seep and stir. He whimpers; a cowering cur, Deathbed's deals, give-take, now occur. Soul dried, bunched ball of prickly burr Waste-of-time tears, goad like a spur. Apologies, are but a slur, Regrets besmirch like rancid myrrh. Slanderers’ stooge, no amateur, Souls sold, Evil’s entrepreneur. Atropos to cut; F A T E S concur Time to let loose this saboteur! “Burn in H E L L”, said the whisperer… Susan Ashley July 28, 2017 ~ Third Place ~ Contest: Early August Standard Sponsor: Brian Strand

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Paul Callus

Date: 12/7/2017 12:15:00 PM

Rhyme behaves like putty under your fingers, Susan...not by accident, but by patience & keen attention; same applies to alliteration...you are mistress of both! The subject matter is deep and dark, and at the end of it there is a strong wish to break away. ~ Warm regards // paul

Susan Ashley
Date: 12/7/2017 6:39:00 PM

I appreciate your lovely and generous words of praise Paul. You have made my day with your wonderfully insightful thoughts and I thank you from my heart for both your kind visit and beautiful comments. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Edward Mccall

Date: 9/8/2017 10:46:00 AM

A splendid use of cryptic vocabulary woven together to create a dark yet intriguing muse. Very well done Susan.

Susan Ashley
Date: 9/8/2017 2:19:00 PM

Hi Edward, I'm so happy that my muse was able to intrigue you! :) Thank you very much for your wonderful and encouraging comment and also much appreciation for your kind visit. I hope you have a great weekend! Susan

Gregory Richard Barden

Date: 7/31/2017 9:21:00 PM

Exquisitely phrased and darkly-tinged work of imagination and creativity ... I adored this, Susan, and have to Fav it ... congrats on your well-deserved win! :-)

Susan Ashley
Date: 8/1/2017 3:39:00 PM

Wow Greg! Thank you so very much for your deeply appreciated comment. I have just started to write poetry and your opinion is very important to this 'apprentice poet'; as I follow your work and think it amazing. Thank you for reading and commenting on my work and for the Fav! :)

Janice Canerdy

Date: 7/28/2017 8:20:00 PM

Dark, descriptive, well-written, Susan! Janice

Susan Ashley
Date: 7/28/2017 8:31:00 PM

Thank you Janice for reading and commenting on my poem. I appreciate the value of your opinion immensely. I'm so glad you enjoyed it! :)

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 7/28/2017 8:10:00 PM

ohhh, what an ending, Susan. Lots of great words you used to compose this one!!

Susan Ashley
Date: 7/28/2017 8:29:00 PM

Hi Andrea, thank you so much for your encouraging comment. I'm glad you liked the ending.., I like the dark mystery of it.