Susan Ashley Poet Monorhyme

Fated Hell

Slovenly sorrows cause a blur,
Shameful shallows seep and stir.
He whimpers; a cowering cur,
Deathbed's deals, give-take, now occur.
Soul dried, bunched ball of prickly burr
Waste-of-time tears, goad like a spur.

Apologies, are but a slur,
Regrets besmirch like rancid myrrh.
Slanderers’ stooge, no amateur,
Souls sold, Evil’s entrepreneur.
Atropos to cut; F A T E S concur
Time to let loose this saboteur! 

“Burn in H E L L”,  said the whisperer…


Susan Ashley
July 28, 2017


~ Third Place ~
Contest: Early August Standard
Sponsor: Brian Strand

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Paul Callus December 7, 2017 at 12:15 PM Rhyme behaves like putty under your fingers, Susan...not by accident, but by patience & keen attention; same applies to alliteration...you are mistress of both! The subject matter is deep and dark, and at the end of it there is a strong wish to break away. ~ Warm regards // paul Susan Ashley December 7, 2017 at 6:39 PM I appreciate your lovely and generous words of praise Paul. You have made my day with your wonderfully insightful thoughts and I thank you from my heart for both your kind visit and beautiful comments. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Edward Mccall September 8, 2017 at 10:46 AM A splendid use of cryptic vocabulary woven together to create a dark yet intriguing muse. Very well done Susan. Susan Ashley September 8, 2017 at 2:19 PM Hi Edward, I'm so happy that my muse was able to intrigue you! :) Thank you very much for your wonderful and encouraging comment and also much appreciation for your kind visit. I hope you have a great weekend! Susan

Gregory Richard Barden July 31, 2017 at 9:21 PM Exquisitely phrased and darkly-tinged work of imagination and creativity ... I adored this, Susan, and have to Fav it ... congrats on your well-deserved win! :-) Susan Ashley August 1, 2017 at 3:39 PM Wow Greg! Thank you so very much for your deeply appreciated comment. I have just started to write poetry and your opinion is very important to this 'apprentice poet'; as I follow your work and think it amazing. Thank you for reading and commenting on my work and for the Fav! :)

Janice Canerdy July 28, 2017 at 8:20 PM Dark, descriptive, well-written, Susan! Janice Susan Ashley July 28, 2017 at 8:31 PM Thank you Janice for reading and commenting on my poem. I appreciate the value of your opinion immensely. I'm so glad you enjoyed it! :)

Andrea Dietrich July 28, 2017 at 8:10 PM ohhh, what an ending, Susan. Lots of great words you used to compose this one!! Susan Ashley July 28, 2017 at 8:29 PM Hi Andrea, thank you so much for your encouraging comment. I'm glad you liked the ending.., I like the dark mystery of it.