Farmer John
FarmerJohn took Tractor Weekly
Sat and avidly read it all
Even cut out tractor pictures
And hung them on his wall
FarmerJohn loved his tractor
Prized possession of his life
Some said he loved it more
Than He loved his darling wife
He would clean and polish it
Regard his reflection with pride
And John really enjoyed
His every tractor ride
Then one day it exploded Causing
Him much actual bodily harm
And Farmer John banned
Every single tractor from his farm,
He took his Tractors weekly
And burned them one and all
Even took down the pictures that
That had hung there in the hall
And Farmer John retired
With his darling wife,
Started to enjoy
His newly tractor free life
Took to his retirement
With the greatest of pleasure,
Took to taking the odd pint
Which he drank at his leisure
One day the pub was filled
With toxic fumes and smoke
A dangerous situation
Not in any way a joke
Standing there calmly
In the centre of the room
Farmer John slowly inhaled
Every bit of smoke and fume.
Then walking to the door
Slowly let it out with his breath
Thus saving many people from
An almost certain death.
How did you do that asked
One grateful surviving man
FarmerJohn ruefully replied
I’m an ex Tractor fan
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