Failure

failure was my best friend when i was little she never left me alone and was always loyal she would whisper into my ears telling me i can’t do it 11 and it’s my first day in secondary she is still here the bigger doors, the bigger people all suffocating me, enclosing in on my little body with a stampede of rules and there she is right behind me whispering 13 and i’m at my first party i'm surrounded, crowds around me pushing me to try a sip failure is still behind me she tells me just a sip the sip turns into a gulp then to a glug then incomes the blackout 15 and i’m sitting my first set of mocks again im feeling small, that suffocation is back scribbling on the paper my head pours with irrelevant information she sits beside me pleading to give up 16 and i’m opening my results she creeps over my shoulder swirling around laughing in my ear this time i ignore her i did it i succeeded and failure didn’t help that was the day we were no longer friends failure used to push me for the better but she became toxic she picked at me, tore up my happiness and set it alight sometimes failure still lurks around mumbling under her breath but now success holds my hand drawing a smile from cheek to cheek telling me i can do it