Failure
failure was my best friend when i was little
she never left me alone and was always loyal
she would whisper into my ears telling me i can’t do it
11 and it’s my first day in secondary she is still here
the bigger doors, the bigger people all suffocating me,
enclosing in on my little body with a stampede of rules
and there she is right behind me whispering
13 and i’m at my first party
i'm surrounded,
crowds around me pushing me to try a sip
failure is still behind me she tells me just a sip
the sip turns into a gulp then to a glug then incomes the blackout
15 and i’m sitting my first set of mocks
again im feeling small, that suffocation is back
scribbling on the paper my head pours with irrelevant information
she sits beside me pleading to give up
16 and i’m opening my results
she creeps over my shoulder swirling around laughing in my ear
this time i ignore her
i did it i succeeded and failure didn’t help
that was the day we were no longer friends
failure used to push me for the better
but she became toxic
she picked at me, tore up my happiness and set it alight
sometimes failure still lurks around mumbling under her breath
but now success holds my hand drawing a smile from cheek to cheek
telling me i can do it
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