Failed Dreams

I worked towards this dream my whole lifetime But it always seemed just out of my reach The harder I tried to achieve it, the further away it seemed to become I was always told growing up That I could be whatever I wanted to be As long as I worked hard for it, And kept my eye on the ball No one tells you No one prepares you for what happens when you fail The feeling of defeat, and loss. That feeling of hopelessness that seems to envelope you Mind, body and soul. I have fought so hard over the years Tried and failed, just to pick myself up and try again. Only to realize failure once more How long do you ride this never ending Carousel? constantly and consistently Round and round, only to end up in the same place you started. Back to square one, over and over When is enough, enough? A day, a week, a month, a year? When does one decide that it is no longer feasible To continue on this path? To continue the ups and downs on this roller-coaster of life? You may even momentarily feel that you actually are in control, only to be holding on for dear life within the next moment, hoping and praying that you won’t be ejected and thrown from the false security of the car that is barely being held upon the track. One after the other, time and time again Failure after failure, try after try As I sit here once more, after being thrown from the proverbial horse Trying to decide if I should continue this seemingly never-ending spiral of failure. I look back at all of my attempts to succeed that ended in failure Never realizing the pattern that was before me all along I see those who have supported me and had been brought into my life at the precise moment they were needed. I see the places these attempts took me and how each one changed me in such a way that I have become a better person than I could’ve ever imagined. I realize how each failure caused me to become more determined and more courageous than I ever would have been had I not experienced that failure. So I guess it cannot be perceived as a failure due to the good that each experience has created. I may not have reached the goal that I have dreamed of all of my life but what I got instead is something greater, something that goes beyond all of my wildest dreams.