Mary Taylor Poet Free verse

Failed Dreams

I worked towards this dream my whole lifetime
But it always seemed just out of my reach
The harder I tried to achieve it, 
the further away it seemed to become

I was always told growing up
That I could be whatever I wanted to be
As long as I worked hard for it,
And kept my eye on the ball

No one tells you
No one prepares you for 
what happens when you fail
The feeling of defeat, and loss.
That feeling of hopelessness
that seems to envelope you
Mind, body and soul.

I have fought so hard over the years
Tried and failed, just to pick myself up and try again.
Only to realize failure once more

How long do you ride this never ending Carousel?
constantly and consistently
Round and round, 
only to end up in the same place you started.
Back to square one, over and over

When is enough, enough?
A day, a week, a month, a year?
When does one decide that
it is no longer feasible
To continue on this path?
To continue the ups and downs 
on this roller-coaster of life?

You may even momentarily feel 
that you actually are in control, 
only to be holding on for dear life 
within the next moment, 
hoping and praying that you won’t 
be ejected and thrown from 
the false security of the car that is 
barely being held upon the track.

One after the other, 
time and time again
Failure after failure, 
try after try
As I sit here once more, 
after being thrown from
 the proverbial horse
Trying to decide if 
I should continue this
seemingly never-ending 
spiral of failure. 

I look back at all of 
my attempts to succeed 
that ended in failure
Never realizing the pattern 
that was before me all along

I see those who have 
supported me and had been 
brought into my life at the 
precise moment they were needed.

I see the places these attempts 
took me and how each one 
changed me in such a way that 
I have become a better person 
than I could’ve ever imagined.

I realize how each failure 
caused me to become more 
determined and more courageous 
than I ever would have been 
had I not experienced that failure.

So I guess it cannot be perceived 
as a failure due to the good that 
each experience has created.

I may not have reached
the goal that I have dreamed of 
all of my life but what I got instead
is something greater, 
something that goes beyond 
all of my wildest dreams.

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Quoth Theraven July 11, 2021 at 12:57 PM Mary Taylor, This poem 'Failed Dreams' is something else. Philosophical and deep introspective in fate and the choices we make. Keep reaching for the brass ring on the 'never ending Carousel' for the ride will stop someday. Those who keep daydreaming never miss the sleep. -Richard