Eyes Forward and Back

I am looking for my answers in all the wrong places
I am head down walking into walls and wishing that the blood washes me clean
I am hurting

I wonder who I am 
I wonder where I'll go
I wonder which is best and which is best left alone

I feel so all alone
I feel so stupid
I feel

I want to stop
I want to go
I want to leave well enough alone

Who am I?
Do you know?
If you do 
Please tell me
I really want to know

I write because I am happy
I write because I am sad
I write because the dark consumes me and all that is left is the bad

I sing so low no one can hear me
I sing so high that I squeak
I sing so that I'll remember that this is better than to speak

I know that this is sulky
I know that this is bad
I know that this is not salvation, but I continue and that is just sad

Who am I?
I really want to know
Copyright © | Year Posted 2008

Poem

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Book: Diverse Voices: The Poetry of Human Rights and the Pursuit of Peace