Exploration of the Crucifixion
I love you, Daddy.
Sunshining walks, wooshing bike rides, coldly splashing summer games.
Sweet singing me to sleep
Wraped in the bear hug of your love—
Smile, I’m your little girl.
I am you:
I have your eyes, your thoughts.
The tears that the ferocities of my irrationally have pushed form my eyes
Are wiped away by your calming words and caring fingers.
Coffee shop singing, dinnertime laughing, tv show watching;
Wake up to a caramel machiotto made just for me.
Where are you, Daddy?
It’s cold here, and grey.
All the color has been sucked out of this day.
Incomprehension swirls in my brain.
My friends have turned on me
And I don’t know why.
Hard words crack my soul.
Harsh whips break my bones.
I have been brought here in my naked humiliation
The world is watching me die.
Why are you watching me die?
I can see you.
I scream to you—
Help, save, hug me.
Look at me.
Then, I hear you
And your words hit with the devastation of a tsunami:
“I hate all that you are.”
The force dislodges a torrent of memories, filled with bright love
They flash in my mind, they flow out and away.
Daddy, why don’t you love me?
Copyright © Caitlin Essenburg | Year Posted 2011
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