Eventually

there is no place to go except where you are. and when you are there, no matter the length of time that you are there, you feel lost and that you must flee to an elsewhere. and in that panic breathed moment you attempt your escape, you are struck with a cruel & punitive truth of your inability to go in the correct direction. the more you turn, the more difficult it becomes in discerning where you were or where you went, and now, where you ought go. your soul becomes heavy with more than its own share of pain. you cry, you scream in hopes of squeezing some out. such a tiny relief gives you an enormous sense of peace for a moment. you’ll take it. you even confuse that moment of peace as getting closer to the somewhere else that you ought to be. that becomes a truth to you & for a while you will forget the weight of your soul.