Eternal Wonderings 2
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a little rhyme a little free verse
When I was little I sang in the choir
There were Quakers and Methodists
Catholic school friends, there were Jewish
Friends and dinners and the chanting
of Buddhist monks. Om Shanti. my own
Prayer chants created in the nights.
“Divine One let me honor You in all that I do
Let me stay close to you and when I die
Let me return to You.”
When I was told I had 8 months to live,
I took a deep breath and looked up at
The indigo heavens and wondered
Are You there? then specialists claimed
My body with their brightly lite glasses,
Intense eyes, their needles and thread
Told me there was a chance, they did not
Have a cure but a transitory retrieve
I pondered my peace for I was not sure
How they spoke to me with tight lips
And shaking heads deep held breathes
They repeated their help over and over again
Finally I gave in calling out from my husband, my friends
All of the radiation and chemo, pills and infusions
Called by the sickess a Cancer Kill, intense deadly
Another fight an lnfection that raged in my blood again
And I asked. “Divine One let me honor You in all
That I do, Let me stay close to You and
When I die let me return to You”
There I walked with my friend to the window
and gazed at the cemetary off of Paul Sweet Drive
And I was not afraid, it seemed quiet and soft
The green bushes, the Redwood trees, the stone
Building designed for peace in the light winds
I spoke to You again most nights as I do now
I do not ask for help, I do not ask for life
I ask for peace, I ask for humanity to
Become kind but I do not ask this of the Divine
I ask this from mankind, I suspect the energy that flows
In the universe has it own path and pattern
I am just a speck of eternal dust that creates and
Admends as the energy of the Universe demands
All the counseling, the work with the
Homeless, the prisons, the reading,
The tutoring, the games, all gone,
Still I fight to become and be what
Thou may wish for me and I chant my
Own chant alone at night I sleep and hope
I could hear You if even in a sigh as You watch
This all an eternal creation In our struggle to be.
And I ask.“Divine One let me honor You in all
That I do, Let me stay close to You and
When I die let me return to You”
Yet I have wondered do You hear me do
You listen, do You care, will I join You to be
Sent out to the universe that shrinks and expands
Eternal light, as a star or whisper of energy
To meet -- to be what I must become again
In whatever form the Universe demands
Copyright © Linda Milgate | Year Posted 2020
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