Escaping My Needs

All I know is that I wanted to run away. At some point I couldn't make a decision on My own because my distorted mind had control. I tried so hard to try to suppress it or avoid it But I couldn’t. I couldn’t. My mind said no. I didn’t know how to move past it. There was A sense of confusion between my past and present And who I was didn’t seem to know the difference. I tried so hard to to focus. To focus on what was in front Of me but it was everything. It was everything And I didn’t even know what it was about. All I wanted To do was run away. I tried to because I knew that when I didn’t, I forgot where I was and where I was going. It seemed like no one could help me but myself but even I didn’t know how to help myself. Each moment I saw them, my Heart cried because it was my heart and mind over me. I, didn’t Want them to love me but every part of me did. The reason why I tried to run is because I knew that Having control was the most important thing but I would soon see that every part of me was falling Into the cracks of them. Each day that I walked I Saw them and it only aggravated things. Eyes say it all. Eye contact goes so far. Eye contact Can bring emotions and conversations never felt or spoken. I guessed that was why clients were always Asked to lie down during session. What was, What is, what I need and what I want. It’s all a Distorted memory but I just wanted to conquer it all. Love conquers all. So I thought that if I let it Just happen then maybe I would overcome it but no. No was the correct answer because the only person That could solve it all is and was God. I would soon Find out but not as soon as I thought. Hundreds of articles To find out that I wasn’t the crazy one. That I was normal But a needy vagabond wanting to be loved. I needed Him is what I soon would know and be relieved to Find out. And that this was all on purpose, All a part of my Destiny.