Emotionless Or Emotional

I'm trying to reveal the pain I haven't opened yet How is it even possible to be emotional and emotionless? I have a habit of walking old paths, already knowing the outcome Please give me the strength to not text my ex as I listen to this Drake album A wise man says nothing, so you could say I'm not about to be smart I used to bottle things up that hurt me, But now I want to have a free heart I know we all go through things, so I'm not the only one But even in a crowd, I feel like the lonely one I don't need sympathy, I need strength Every girl I've met hasn't understood that sometimes the Princess needs to save the prince Why do they focus on my flaws instead of finding beauty in my dents? She stabbed me in the heart, then played the victim when my feelings went I used to dream of dating a girl from every city in the world, Now I wish to escape to a different place on the map You ever notice how the roses smell different once you get a knife placed in your back? I'm being laughed at by the girl I cried tears over My dream is to learn how to deal with my nightmares sober I'm fighting through each day to try and find a way to be happy The sad thing is, I don't have much confidence or self-belief before a glass of brandy Would you rather be Closed minded but understand yourself, Or have an open mind with broken thoughts? I've learned that the person posting a caption "Leave me alone" is the person who needs the most support My ex posted a picture the other day and she looks more beautiful than ever She's got a boyfriend and is in love, I wish we were still together It's better for me to say that on this page, than to drunk text her We've all been in a situation where we wished we stayed quiet and could take back said words I'm 26, I'm too old to be confusing love and great sex My anxiety makes me regret choices I haven't even made yet I wish my depression would go, but it looks its here to stay I need my emotionless side to come and wipe my tears away I've got scars that aren't even close to closing yet How can I be emotional but emotionless? I guess I'm a little bit broken and that's okay I can be emotional and emotionless, it just depends on the day