Embattled

They burst forth and charge downwards
Matching uniforms shiny against the grey sky
Their only desire to smash suicidally upon our ranks
We hear the thunder of them coming, and carefully prepare
The vanguard already lie smashed upon the ground
The rest will soon swell the regiments of the defeated
Moments before they arrive we deploy our umbrellas
Countless warriors smash harmlessly inches above our heads
Their watery remains dripping from our defences
Mingling with those of their already fallen brethren







Contest : FALL YOUR CHOICE any theme/any form max 12 lines
Honorable Mention

Copyright © | Year Posted 2011



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Date: 1/10/2012 1:39:00 PM
I absolutely love this one, I personally think you deserved far mroe than an Honorable Mention!
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Date: 11/16/2011 3:12:00 PM
This is a dang decent poem! I appreciate the feedback on "Demon Whispers". I rushed you through that one for a good reason. It is definitely a psychotic bout of paranoia and confusion. The tempo is somewhat spiraling backwards. I typed it as I spoke it aloud. This is one of the few poems I have typed this way. I will try to read as many poems from your archive as possible. I digg what I see so far!
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Date: 9/25/2011 3:41:00 PM
Congratulations on your win in Brian Strand's "Fall Your Choice" contest Nick. Love, Carol
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Date: 9/24/2011 12:31:00 AM
Interesting take on the contest. congratulations. Love, Joyce
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Date: 9/23/2011 10:35:00 PM
Nick, I am so happy to see this poem recognized, as I already told you how much I liked it. Congratulations on your win. I am putting this poem in my favorites.
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Date: 9/23/2011 10:14:00 PM
Creative write, Nick. Congrats on your Honorable Mention. Kim
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Date: 9/23/2011 7:37:00 PM
Congrats on your HM, Nick. Excellent write. Nice going. Ralph
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Date: 9/23/2011 7:01:00 PM
great work!! love your imagination!!
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Date: 9/23/2011 10:49:00 AM
Congratulations on your HM Nick
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Date: 9/22/2011 7:47:00 AM
This is EXCELLENT Nick! I can see it in lights in the winners circle. I adore the rain and sleep to the sound of it every night because when it isn't raining I play my CD of rain and thunder and it lulls me to sleep.
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Date: 9/22/2011 7:01:00 AM
A dismal description of the rain but a very good job of comparison. I like it.
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Date: 9/21/2011 6:09:00 PM
Only your words exceed your imagination Nick, incredible verse on rain described as a battle. Love it! :)
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Date: 9/20/2011 2:07:00 PM
sAME HERE IN CALCUTTA[ INDIA]. IT WAS NECESSARY AS HUMIDITY WAS KILLING EVERYONE...U PRESENTED SO BRILLIANTLY .
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Date: 9/20/2011 9:21:00 AM
It's raining in Ohio too. Tony
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Date: 9/20/2011 9:01:00 AM
Great! I imagine the flash of artillery and the ground soaked in 'blood.' Fun way to fight a war.
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Date: 9/20/2011 8:30:00 AM
You've painted a very vivid picture. Excellent!
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