Dying To Live Again
I am lying on the bed with abscess in my
rear
and wrapped in white clouds of fear.
The nurse was flashing an animated smile
but I am sombre like I am on a trial.
I see her as an angel of death in her gown
I fear in the 'red devil' I will drown.
Having chemotherapy, radiation and then
tamoxifen,
I want to ask God, 'what is my sin?'
Outside, the sun is shining
but inside, I am whining.
The leafy trees are dancing in the breeze,
and me going, 'Help me Oh! God, please'.
Clusters of hair falling on my hands,
deep in the gorge my confidence lands.
My breast, my hair, my jolly banter,
robbed by the invisible thief called cancer.
I wonder what is this thing called cancer,
cutting, slicing into human flesh like a
butcher.
Debilitating, decimating, injecting
exhaustion,
deadly effect has this treatment potion.
In the mirror I see a bald, fat-chested
woman,
my stocky body makes me look like an
ancient Roman.
How have I changed unbelievably from a
gorgeous damsel,
my long locks and lovely looks made
many a man mental.
That was yesterday when cancer gave me
the scars,
today I believe that only when its dark, you
see the stars.
No more am I afraid of the dreaded 'c'
I am standing tall and erect like a tree.
I have now resolved that I will continue
fighting,
each and every cell in my body is rioting,
Death stares me in the face, but in vain,
because I am dying to live again, live
again.
Today my vision is clear and I am looking
ahead,
I am not the type to give up and stay in
bed.
I have defeated cancer and know that
anyone can,
Even 'cancer' itself contains the word
'can'.
Copyright © Ashfaq Bakali | Year Posted 2013
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