Every word of what follows is true.
You know when you see a car wreck and you say, "No one could survive that!"
Well, I say that pretty much every time a duck lands in my garden.
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Have you ever seen a duck come in to land… on land It’s an eventuality that nature never planned For ducks that land on water such a graceful splashdown make But should they land on terra firma… it sure ain’t Swan Lake Each one does a belly flop, a cartwheel and a stagger They get up and compose themselves, but ducks weren’t made to swagger They have no shame so simply waddle with ungainly gait Toward the back door of my house where they all stand and wait This morning there were six of them, I watched them all crash down “They’ll need a pint or two of seed,” I muttered with a frown Their heads were first to hit the deck, their rumps stuck in the air I went out with a jug of seed to find them gathered there As I stepped outside I felt like Moses on the shore The ducks made space for me to walk and not a hair’s breadth more Two partridges were standing by and I also fed those And when the pecking finished, well, I almost checked my toes. Bird seed by the quarter-gallon gobbled up each time I wouldn’t mind but it ain’t half a kilo for a dime But it gives me pleasure and as I stood there this morn Two more kamikaze ducks crash landed on my lawn.
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