Drops

To seek a feeling as my own To guide the hand of my thoughts towards it Feeling, prodding, tearing for an eternity Flawless with my destruction For in time, having come finally due It wears down Slowly, softly reminding me Who I am, cannot sustain who I desire to be To seek a hand in comfort, perhaps, is but a dream For with a mere thought, I feel aged With every morning I look into myself Seeing ink peek from beneath my skin As if to say hello And with each passing glance, I ache to hide from it Feeling my stomach turn in knots Petrified, I will ever be For living as what I see is so painful To wake into the darkness, covered in sweat Merely praying for a new sight Knowing this hand of mine shakes How am I to hold such a hope so steady? As with each movement, I watch Fragile hope dripping between my grasping fingers While each drop that falls to earth So beautiful is the sight For past and present memories fly, Freely for but a moment As they thunder into the ground With each drop, so violently shaking my body Never, may a wandering ear hear the crack of lighting Never will they open this door, Helping me try to catch each passing moment For like the rest of time, I may never tread backwards Simply to watch myself, repeatedly Reach desperately for each moment, Just to slip between my ever so panicked grasp Never knowing peace in this bubble of time I watch each act so thoroughly So patiently waiting for myself to catch even one drop How many hours spent in my life, have I spent Simply crying, watching myself never succeed For in vain attempts, I reach for the hands of passers by As if reaching for a cloud, as I fall past the Heavens Never did I lay purchase to any Now, my body grows weary Crawling, begging for that one last drop To allow this to end