Dreamer's Dilemma

Remind me of my childhood, where everything felt okay, though I know now nothing was okay. I smiled for youth, dreaming "when I grow up, I will be a great person, with a kind heart, ready to help everyone. I dreamt to be an engineer, astronaut, physicist, a scientist, a doctor. As I grew up, I never imagined how life would have turned out. I made it to the university, as a medical student. Priorities are changing, questions are weighing in my mind. "Will I be able to help a person needing my help?", "will I keep my vows?", "was this my dream job?", "am I on the right path?". Things seemed hard to me, so heavy. I fight with temptations. I also dream of a beautiful life, beautiful home, beautiful wife, beautiful life, peaceful life. But as I look at my parents, they are getting old, and I can’t help. My mind is filled with anxiety, I'm thinking too much of what will happen. What will happen if I won't make it in time? Dear God, please raise Your hand and point me in the right direction. I'm worried that if I continue running my life I will ruin it. I surrender to You. Take all my weaknesses, addictions, keep me away from temptations. Grant my wishes as You see fit and keep me distant from the evil. Amen. May Your light guide my every step, and bring peace to my troubled heart.