Drained

I hate it. I feel numb. It’s like I’m a shadow, just watching my life go by. I feel excited, but I don’t feel excited. I get happy, but I don’t get happy. I get upset, but I don’t feel upset. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. It’s like I’m just… Mentally checked out from life. I laugh, but it feels fake. I smile, but it feels forced. I need help, but I always joke and never ask. The only person I found comfort in.. he’s no longer there. I feel heartbroken, yet numb at the same time. I’m not sure what to do anymore. I need him, but he’ll never be there again. I don’t want to feel like this again, but it will never go away cause the voices always make it worse. I need you.. but can never have you ever again and I hate it. I hate it so much. You made the feeling disappear, now that you're gone, it will forever be there in the back of my mind, and the back of my heart. I’ll always be this way, and I’ll always hate it.