Doppleganger

I missed you today. With an suddenness, a bereft slap across my skin. When that familiar hair ahead of me on the sidewalk turned. And it wasn't you. I missed you in the hollow of the moment of the stranger who wasn't you. And with resounding howl Like a grieving mother I missed you. I remember in the sheets we'd tangle, I smelled them. I smelled summer air and my perfume I smelled the your soap and your musk in that minute second on the street. I stopped and I breathed in deep. Inhale, Inhale. Before you turned and it was not you. Like a sailor's wife on the shore I watched as the stranger who wasn't you turned back down the street Growing smaller and smaller in the distance. And a thousand piercing stinging blinding pins of light forced themselves. They stabbed my soul, and took my breathe. Took your scent and the bed we lay. On the street, on the street as you walked away, the stranger. Paralyzing me with your nearness only to be someone so very much not you. I missed you and i stood in the street and gravity gave up it's pull to laugh at my foolishness and my eyes filled with tears to celebrate their perfect deception. and my bones forgot how to hold on for dear life and i slid to the ground to the ground because I saw you today on the street. The stranger that wasn't you. I have learned the art of hiccuping you inside. Memory, hiccup. There you are now tucked away inside. Kisses on the soft hairs at the nape. Hiccup that away too. And all of the hiccups came out in a swallow of your name... A hundred swallows, truth. They flew wickedly around my head gleeful in my faux pas. And ten hungry vultures came to take the remains of my hope. Pick away greedily at my anticipation. Satied on the last of my blind faith and now they are too fat to fly. And I am too weak to run. Because I saw you on the street today, The stranger that wasn't you. My beloved. My adored. Such a peculiar street. I will not pass this way again. sahn 04/09/2014