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Doom of Ancient Bloom

Oh, this impish ill! this mystic flock of ever-roaming pain; You now possess fully my body and my life. I am at your full attention and mercy; Do you not rejoice? Are you not overwhelmingly triumphant? This very body that shamed kings into beggars, that made cowards into martyrs, songs to motivation, and indisputable chaos to nation; All of my great works till now are devoured by this deplorable disease! Indeed, now all are indifferent to my successes, to my brilliance and my legendary valiance; You see no more but a breakable man- Another mortal undeniably, indefinably, irrevocably….dying This misshapen swarm inside distorts my frame; These bones weaken as I lay isolated in the mist below the disparaging judges— Away from the ordinary who spat on me in revulsion; The known healthy and the blessed— The cursed clean! Even relieving the dogs and the fiends from this stinking burden I am but a rogue omen, and a threat to their meaningless power. My skin is paling, flaking—I feel it! Though dread long has fled to sorrier lands, seeping in the heavenly regions of trembling angels, crying out to me to submit, and repent to a god who has enslaved us— To—in the end—die, and for the bravest, and the best, perish harshly and horribly! Agony places itself in all that cries out in me— tired agony mixed with the sting of venomous words; My family—additions to the cursed clean— They visited me once in prison; My father, rigid, alien to me, Colder than the prison walls surrounding, and—of course—unwilling to be written upon, stood silent, as my mother wept, as my brother, his son whom he loves, stared through me hollowly, dumbly, possessing traits too doleful to acknowledge, yet always, he is more than anything I die to achieve. Dead flowers crumble in my palms; Now their known beauty is long gone. I had been ailing, though enduring, spreading and killing off fellow prisoners one by one; The jailer became furious with the disease, his dying wish to have me alone with the ground and worm; His death and his bitter will against me touched the queen, Who deemed the clean oppressed. The solemn king whom I had served once with reverence so soon sentenced me prematurely to this tomb, to enclose a black hell of chilling cold around me, and—as was ordinary—granted me no walls to write on. Tears fall… I have learned in the silence even fury sighs and dims Pacing and pacing, I was soon reduced to feverish quaking, and in every sense aching, till the floor met my lips, as the weakness took a fragile but substantial grip on my hope; That moment, I begged this tomb to take me. As fate has seen fit, this is my dirge of a conclusion: We all—cursed man— All—ordinary and brilliant alike, meet the same filthy fate involving unassuming worms and dirt- senseless deafness, blindness and darkness. If I ever bloomed, in your eyes, my father, like your sons before me, I bloomed for naught, only to, like infants, cry- to die and rot. For Justin Bordner's "A Tomb of Ancient Bloom" contest

Copyright © | Year Posted 2016




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Date: 5/7/2016 4:19:00 PM
Laura,, nice to see this poem in Justin's contest. *skat*
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Laura Breidenthal
Date: 5/10/2016 7:08:00 PM
Thanks ever so much! I had a blast writing this. <3~Laura
Date: 3/19/2016 11:45:00 PM
Laura, awesome win, I just noticed Justin's winning list. Congrats on your placement. LINDA
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Laura Breidenthal
Date: 3/20/2016 2:37:00 AM
Thanks Linda. Justin is amazing. He inspires in more ways than one. Its a blessing being able to share words on PS. I cant wait to visot your page again. Youve got a unique style and the way you word things can be so colorful and powerful. <3 ~Laura
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Laura Breidenthal
Date: 3/20/2016 2:36:00 AM
Thanks Linda. Justin is amazing. He inspires in more ways than one. Its a blessing being able to share words on PS. I cant wait to visot your page again. Youve got a unique style and the way you word things can be so colorful and powerful. <3 ~Laura
Date: 3/13/2016 11:07:00 PM
It looks as though we are sharing seats on the podium, Laura. Congrats are in order :) ... though I'm not terribly surprised as it feels as if you put a lot of effort into this epic.
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Laura Breidenthal
Date: 3/20/2016 2:34:00 AM
Awwh, thanks Timothy. This was dark, but it needed to be written. Justin really inspires me deeply and I am amazed by his brilliance. Your poem you wrote for this contest was incredible. This reminds me, I should go read it again. :) ~Laura
Date: 3/13/2016 4:14:00 AM
Congratulations on a superb win, Laura! I read this excellent poem yesterday, and there should be a comment somewhere, but looks like it's in hiding! ~ Regards // paul
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Laura Breidenthal
Date: 3/13/2016 4:56:00 AM
How dare it hide from me! ;) Hehe. I always appreciate your thoughtful comments. Thankies. ~Laura
Date: 3/12/2016 3:56:00 AM
One of the most original takes on the theme that I've read. Incredible, Laura. I can see the elegy, but it also has an epic feel, too, with its heavy implications of a bigger story behind it all. Could have been something from a novel. I loved the cursed clean. Simplistic, but it has a lot of impact. You can feel the hatred towards the fortunate and the privileged, while you while away rotting in a prison "And as was Ordinary granted me no walls to write" ... I suspect high marks for this gem.
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Laura Breidenthal
Date: 3/12/2016 4:23:00 AM
I must say your take on the theme for the contest is incredibly unique and colorful, Timothy. it's a gem among many of your verses. I appreciate the sweet comment. My mind is a dark place, and I am always highly honored when a skillful poet like you can point out things they liked about a piece. Thank you. <3 ~Laura
Date: 3/12/2016 2:05:00 AM
A morbid nihilism bleeds intensely, and so deftly in this wonder poem Laura. The desolation leaves no room for pity. "I have learned in the silence even fury sighs and dims..." an insight of genius! If other people's ideals dictate our hearts then we will meet a filthy end, but if our passion remains, to defy, create, educate then perhaps mortality is just a degree towards beautiful immortality my Gothic Poetess. You surely know how to make life competitive! A FAV!! J.A.B.
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Laura Breidenthal
Date: 3/12/2016 2:44:00 AM
Thanks for always inspiring me, Justin. I feel like in the situation with this poor soul(increasingly nihilistic as it goes along), the disease is talking, the bitterness, and the rage (although dimming) kills him. The physical ailments can get the better of us and our psyche. Trials are testing and in his case, unbearable. Now that he has been shunned from the world and its inhabitants, he thinks God has shunned him as well, just like his own father and family--but he still knows he carries distinctive qualities, a ring of brilliance with traits only the "cursed clean" can dream of...unfortunately.. fear and the thirst for power blinds and binds. ~Laura
Date: 3/12/2016 12:41:00 AM
Laura, in all honesty you can write these standing on your head, you posses a million words, all beautiful, all crafted, Justin loves your style and your ability to deliver great work, however, in my opinion this is too grand, too panoramic, for a mere poem...you pour gold onto a plate of offal...beggars and banquets , we eat raw meat,..you offer caviar...( it's a compliment) ..Ian
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Laura Breidenthal
Date: 3/12/2016 12:51:00 AM
Awwww, I think you made me blush... >__< I was going to put "dramatic monologue" as the poem's form, simply because I think it would be awesome to have someone recite it on a stage. But as the theme is death, I suppose an Elegy form works too. Ian, thank you for the immensely sweet compliment. ~Laura

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