Don'T Judge
Should I ask for forgiveness
Or continue to hold this blade against my pale skin?
I know Ive prayed and asked for forgiveness before so this time it is a committed sin.
I can't help that so many people hurt me
most do it without realizing it because I'm to nice to bring it to their attention
I let them say what they will and cry about it later holding it in around family
But soaking my pillow case at night
holding my arms around me to stop the pain from radiating through the room
I hate this feeling it just brings me gloom.
Except for the blade that brings the blood rushing warmly to the surface
A sign of life deep inside when I feel so numb other wise
Some find this stupid and dumb but i don't care because you don't know how i feel
inside.
I sometimes want to run and run and run
But i can't because there isn't anything new to run to
but you..
You... who hurts me and doesn't know
You.. who i think i love sometimes but feel confused and therefore hurt some more
You.. who tells me to look forward and step through life's open door.
But I can't because I have a problem
with this blade I cut my wrists, just a little
to feel a rush.. A problem yes
But none the less
I'll pray for this to all cease in my life
but it will continue and in the end ill feel like hell..
Copyright © Roxanna Johnson | Year Posted 2011
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