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Done Deed

Sequel to "The Dream" I came from a funeral With tears I couldn't see; For I killed my lover Who wouldn't love me. His mouth with soft lips That lit his sweet face Brought a vision of sorrow For a lonely grave's place. For he did deceive me And I couldn't find rest; Till I turned and I slew him I knew this was best. I stood there beside him With a spade in the clay; Tomorrow I'll forget him But I’ll shed tears today.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2011




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12
Date: 8/5/2023 1:57:00 PM
Emotions can be so real.
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Date: 5/23/2012 8:00:00 PM
Hell hath no fury... a cautionary tale, sayin' don't mess with my emotions. Laura is right... it's best read aloud.
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Date: 5/11/2012 1:26:00 PM
Awesome verse! Read it out loud with some dramatic classical music and it rocks even more. Keep writing! Always, Laura
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Date: 11/23/2011 7:26:00 AM
the doer of this dastardly deed has a heart colder than the body it is burying! and once again as with many of your cool poems..it reminds me of a song.. folk style. ..and that my friend...is a good thing
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Date: 11/21/2011 5:39:00 AM
We kill some part of ourself we thought we dont want..atitude elusion. Lizzy. Quiet like a dream
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Date: 11/20/2011 10:29:00 PM
Smile, intense emotions expelled amid this dreamsequences lovely verse my dear precious Elizabeth * Hopefully it served its purpose in allowing your beauty to vent and or perhaps escape the plagues which often accompany many relationships amid these present days wherein we dwell * Also, thank you for the kind visit my dear; much appreciated * My love always and forever, John *
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Date: 11/20/2011 2:54:00 PM
go read jeffry cohan he is an awesome poet
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Date: 11/20/2011 11:53:00 AM
so creative,,,and i like the feel of the emotion that could turn at any moment...
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Date: 11/19/2011 7:17:00 PM
today i read it as it should have been read. and i sounded good. soup mail. john
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Date: 11/19/2011 2:30:00 PM
Wow, scary piece, my friend - loved it. I see this is the sequel, so I shouldn't have read this one first!
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Date: 11/19/2011 10:00:00 AM
An impressive dark poem.. I love the title. And the end, complement this perfect writing :)
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Date: 11/19/2011 10:00:00 AM
Oops, forgot to rate this :)
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Date: 11/18/2011 8:54:00 PM
I hope tomorrow comes soon for you, dear. I loved this sequel. Thank you for checking on me consistently, it means a lot. I hope you're doing well too, your poems get me worried at times.
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Date: 11/18/2011 8:31:00 PM
great work!! I like it....different
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Date: 11/18/2011 2:52:00 PM
Such a dream! This deserves a Valse Triste accompaniment, or Mephisto Waltz might be more fitting. Enjoyed mucho. Love, daver
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Date: 11/18/2011 2:00:00 PM
Hey sweet, remember me. well now I know where to send the police. hehe. excellent poem.
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Date: 11/18/2011 11:29:00 AM
Sounds like an old irish folk song which I love btw. As with many of your poems, I feel as if they should be sung ... and for me..that's a good thing! nice job of it Elizabeth. Thanks for your comments.... My activity is praying for them and writing about it much to many peoples' chagrin. I am gulity of not writing enough about their plight I'm afraid... but comments such as yours give me encouragement to continue to write about their cause.... which is the world's
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Date: 11/18/2011 9:53:00 AM
Captivating! Interesting story.
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Date: 11/18/2011 9:25:00 AM
You man killer you--a lady with vengence in the heart. A tear today and gone tomorrow. Keep up the sadness tell the spade fills the grave. nice write.
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Date: 11/18/2011 8:49:00 AM
I always thought "lady killer" meant something else... I feel the same way with your comment......... George
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Date: 11/18/2011 7:41:00 AM
Wow ! I'll have to remind myself; treat the babes wit respect ! *smiles* Have a wonderful weekend Elizabeth ! Awesome write ! Much love dear poet, james
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Date: 11/18/2011 1:26:00 AM
A sneaky planned rhyme....u killed him just in thyme! Good to keep your sad wife routine going thru the funeral...lol. Great write. Gwendolen
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Date: 11/17/2011 10:37:00 PM
Hi rhyme queen,I envy the way u do rhyming.Another great write.Thanks for all your comments at my pages.
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Date: 11/17/2011 9:58:00 PM
boy, forget the guy in just one day? I like a poem like this because it's not the usual pretty poem. It shows a vindictiveness that is expressed beautifully!
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Date: 11/17/2011 8:52:00 PM
Good morning my friend, it's sad write. You worded nicely. Thanks, bl
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Book: Reflection on the Important Things