Domestic Violence Survivor

i'd allowed you in again even thou my soul was shattered god was quite displeased as you hammered your dark fist against my rib cage senseless i thought an yet you were forgiven again even more than the last time i'd carefully packed garments birth certificates and social security cards while dripping tears and blood onto the blank pages of my new residence a safe place chanted across the empty lines then availibility how many beds as we poured into the entrance the sign read safe you are not alone an yet i'd left everything i was centered in a room of over fourteen other women quiet timid angry how we failed at making a male happy within his own skin how he'd torn into us all it was like the same man had beaten us all an yet i knew only you calm cool collective when the cops came taking you around the corner to cool off where was i here in america why i was all races all religions an yet i was harmed while the worse part of my abuse was returning to my abuser how you emptied me into silence covered in tears black and blue an yet i missed you washing the bruises with soft soap our children were shattered as i explained daddy was ill he was sick he worked very hard to care for us if we were more quiet well behaved he would respond to our energy and love us deeply as deep as i allowed myself to be abused this was america oppression depression family ties became wrath as i whispered he know's not what he does we are loved as i planned a new home among strangers an yet they were me i was all of these women a safe place sorjournal truth home the harbor light inn the st angeline christian center chaplins office the salvation army cornerstone community outreach shelter the springs outreach where was home in america as i embraced you served you were ill you would someday change abuse would become softer cycles will be broken but here in the in this space in this place and in this time you became plural that's all as i soon became very small why i soon became safe