DOMESTIC VIOLENCE ANXIETY DISORDER
MY ANXIETY DISORDER STEMS FROM DOMESTIC VIOLENCE THE MANY YEARS OF BEING TORTURED THE EMOTIONAL MENTAL CRUELTY MY ABUSIVE EX HUSBAND CONTROLLED MY EVERY BREATH HE HAD TO MONITOR ME AT ALL TIMES STALKING ME AT WORK BITTER WHEN MY STORE MANAGERS GAVE ME RIDES HOME FROM WORK BECAUSE I NEVER DROVE A VEHICLE ITS TRULY EMBARRASSING TO SPEAK OUT ABOUT BEING CONTROLLED HE WOULD PROMISE TO TEACH THEN YELL SCREAM CALL ME STUPID NAMES I FEKT SO IN ADEQUATE I TRULY BELIEVED I WAS TOO STUPID TO DRIVE WHAT IF I GOT BEHIND A WHEEL AND DIED I BELIEVE THIS KELP ME IN BONDAGE THROUGH THE YEARS SEEING THE ROAD RAGE ON THE ROAD PEOPLE SO IMPATIENT YELLING CURSING I THOUGHT I DON'T EVER WANT TO FEEL THAT SIX DECADES LATER I NEVER EVER DROVE NOT EVEN A GOLF CART SCOOTER MINI BIKE NOTHING WITH A MOTOR MY OWN MOTOR SKILLS ARE COMPLETELY OVERWHELMING NOW I SPENT MY LIFE ON TROLLYS TRAINS BUSES TAXI'S STRASAS IN GERMANY OR A SCHWINN DRIVING NEVER ENTERS MY MIND I NEVER APPLIED FOR DRIVERS LICENSE OF TOOK ANY DRIVERS EXAM NOT EVEN APPLIED I HATE WHEN PEOPLE ASSUME YOU HAVE A DRIVERS LICENSE MY GOD MY ANXIETY DISORDER PANIC DISORDER DEPRESSION DISORDER NARCOLEPSY DAYTIME SLEEP APNEA COULD YOU IMAGINE FALLING THE SLEEP BEHIND A WHEEL YEARS OF WORKING WITH FBI AGENTS MY EX HUSBANDS DROVE SEVERAL DRIVERS TAKING ME TO AND FRO RESULTED IN AN AIR BAG CRUSHING MY SKULL ON THE PASSENGER SIDE WILLIE PETERSON CHURCH GUY VENDER FOR MAGAZINES ON FORT MYERS BEACH OFFERED TO DRIVE ME TO THE GROCERY STORE OCTOBER 8TH 2003 NEARLY ENDED MY LIFE AIRBAG EXPODED CRUSHING MY FACE INTO MY BRAIN SEVERE SKULL FRACTURES MY FATE BEING A NON DRIVER AMAZING CRIPPLING DISABILITIES HAVE ON SIMPLY THINGS PEOPLE TAKE FOR GRANTED EVERYDAY THROUGH THE YEARS MY EX HUSBANDS PURCHASED CARS SOMETIMES USING MY MONIES FROM MY LAWSUITS OF FROM MY JOB ONLY BECAUSE I NEEDED A DRIVER TO TAKE THE CHILDREN AND I TO APPOINTMENTS OUTINGS THIS FEAR OF DRIVER TRIGGERED MY CHILDHOOD GROWING I HATED BEING IN CARS OR CARNIVAL RIDES MOTION SOCKNESS I WOULD VOMIT SICK THE ENTIRE RIDE MY SIBLINGS COUSINS ALL LOOKING OUT THE WONDOWS I WOULD BE TOTURED WITH CARBON FUMES OIL SEVERELY ALLERGIC TO GAS FUNNY RIGHT GOD KNOWS JUST WHAT YOU NEED KEEPING ME SAFE I AM BLESSED TO BE ALIVE I DREAM OF SOMEDAY RIDING AN ITALIAN SCOOTER ASHAMED TO SAY I HAVE LIMITATIONS DUE TO SEVERE CHRONIC DISABILITIES AND DISORDERS BECAUSE OF THIS I CAN'T OPERATE ANY MOVING VEHICLE AND THATS OKAY TODAY I'M BLESSED TO HAVE MY WONDERFUL HUSBAND DRIVING ME WHERE I NEED TO GO WHAT A BEAUTIFUL GIFT WHEN MY ANXIETY SET IN I WEAR BEDTIME MASKS TO PREVENT MY UNCONTROLLABLE NEED TO READ EVERY LICENSE PLATE FOR HIDDEN THREATS GOD BLESS AMERICA
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