Andrew Delapruch | + Follow Poet |
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Dog Trap

s/he got a new dog &
like many dogs before it,
it shed & it jumped up on the
sofa, the comfy chair in the
living room, etc.---
in regards to the prior dogs in
her/his life, s/he had 
“suffered” the hair deposits,
the smell of dog, be it dry or
wet, and the rest of the
litany of petty problems 
which dog owners will claim
when going to great lengths
to tame & beat their happy dog
into submission---
one day,
s/he came up with an idea
as to how to get the dog off the
chair & the sofa---
s/he got up early in the morning,
wrapped the chair in a sheet &
then subsequently wrapped that 
sheet in electrical tape, masking 
tape &
that really sticky gray duct tape,
all with the adhesive side facing up---
after the chair was engulfed in tape,
s/he left the house &
went to work.

low & behold,
when the once-frustrated dog owner
returned to her/his abode that evening,
there was a whimper coming from the
living room---
the dog, a shaggy dog whose resemblance
to a frayed towel 
was uncanny,
had gotten itself stuck on the tape &
the pulling of its hair in the attempt to escape
the tape-engulfed chair,
was too much for the poor dog,
who had been undergoing the pain for
who knows how long---
the satisfied owner
talked conceitedly to the dog,
asking it what the problem was
(as if the poor dog had any idea what
this horrible human was babbling) &
then got down on her/his knees to
help the dog from the trap that had
worked out just the way the owner
suspected that it would,
because the dog never set foot on the
chair or the sofa again.

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