Do I Dare
Do I dare?
As years passed, I continued to wonder
Haunted by a silent question
Buried at the back of my head, is a lifetime quest for answers
Lurking in my subconscious, Is a lifetime of shadows
Masked in deep shaded silhouettes
Caught up in a maze of illusions
A space were pieces of my life laid buried
Loaded with decades of uncertainty
What do I dare to call him?
The one I know only from memories
Like a ghost, he roams behind closed doors
Exists in a parallel universe
Masquerading in my dreams
Disappears and appears at random times
I had worshiped him, and his unwillingness to conform
Fascinated by his magic tricks
Abra cadabra, he vanished just as quickly
Snatched away by the world of the unknown
Never really knew him, acquainted only with his visage
He lives in my fantasy land
What should I call this man?
He remains a mystery
He with no care in the world
The first to initiate me into the grownup world of heartbreak
To teach me of unbearable sorrow and disappointment
It is he that brought me great despair
Partook in my bearing, but showed me no mercy
He wounded me, preparing my heart for a long battle ahead
Stealing my precious childhood
As I spend my life’s journey walking on splinters of broken glasses
Like a wounded soldier, I bore old scars
With bible verses, scripted on my soul
I now thread carefully through life, running away from all that reminds me of him
Struggling to leave his shadows behind
As I now embody his vile illness
With a heart that has turned to decay
Do I dare call him father?
He took advantage of my innocence, toyed with my vulnerable nature
He is the cause of my masked loneliness
Like a wet sponge, I had absorbed his ways
Floundering through life like a mythical creature
Blundered by his lies and broken promises
And all I was seeking was his validation
But in his absence he deemed me unworthy
For so long I kneeled as he ordered
Like a gospel, I followed his every command
Yet, he constantly broke the vows he swore to keep
Do I dare call him father?
The man whose heart had grown as cold as stone
He that watched me wither away to his very eyes
As I made my slow fall from grace
Copyright © Rebone Masemola | Year Posted 2014
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