Divine Trust

I’m the baby chick kicking out of the crippling darkness with no knowledge of what’s beyond my cracked world lost only in the frantic desperation to burst out. Growing, stretching out of my skin, out of my life, out of my mind and the confined space it keeps me in. My life, like stagnant water is giving me a foul smell. My everyday habits, morning rituals, evening routines have weaved themselves into a suit that tightens around my neck week after week, month after month, tighter till I’m panicked for fresh air, open spaces, life with wonderment. I’m shedding in clumps, leaving bits of me everywhere old friends, past loves, rusty convictions, binding traditions, restricting regrets I sweep from the corners of my room into piles of waste. My stomach aches with ambition crouched inside it pricking, pinching with needles a tattoo inside of me that in the mirror reads LET ME OUT!!!! I lay in bed at night tortured by the cracking in my ears, the sound of my cells dividing giving birth to new universes that bud into pink skin, new nails, eye lashes, hope. I’m a ghost of my future self standing at the end of my bed watching myself sleep, mourning my own death with tears of anticipation. My unruly spirit no longer silent, screams like steam in a teapot. I’m a reveling tinderbox glowing in the dark, with no apologizes left for my disruptive eagerness disobedient passions or my impolite aspirations. Destiny is in the car honking the horn while I pack, sorting, collecting all that I’ll need faith, courage, dreams. I feel the urgency with every thump, thump of my heart stomping its feet. I disrobe, my soul naked and anxious stands on the ledge, arms out and open while Promise is placed like a host on my tongue Divine trust spreads feathered across my back. Eyes closed I lift, rescuing myself into my own salvation.