Divine Trust

I’m the baby chick kicking out of the
crippling darkness with no knowledge
of what’s beyond my cracked world
lost only in the frantic desperation to burst out.

Growing, stretching out of my skin,
out of my life, out of my mind
and the confined space it keeps me in.
My life, like stagnant water is giving me a foul smell.

My everyday habits, morning rituals, evening routines
have weaved themselves into a suit that tightens around my neck
week after week, month after month, tighter
till I’m panicked for fresh air, open spaces, life with wonderment.

I’m shedding in clumps, leaving bits of me everywhere
old friends, past loves, rusty convictions, 
binding traditions, restricting regrets 
I sweep from the corners of my room into piles of waste.

My stomach aches with ambition crouched inside it
pricking, pinching with needles a tattoo
inside of me that in the mirror reads
LET ME OUT!!!!

I lay in bed at night tortured by the cracking in my ears,
the sound of my cells dividing
giving birth to new universes that bud into
pink skin, new nails, eye lashes, hope.

I’m a ghost of my future self
standing at the end of my bed
watching myself sleep, mourning my own death
with tears of anticipation.

My unruly spirit no longer silent, screams like steam in a teapot.
I’m a reveling tinderbox glowing in the dark,
with no apologizes left for my disruptive eagerness
disobedient passions or my impolite aspirations.

Destiny is in the car honking the horn
while I pack, sorting, collecting all that I’ll need
faith, courage, dreams. I feel the urgency
with every thump, thump of my heart stomping its feet.

I disrobe, my soul naked and anxious stands on the ledge,
arms out and open while Promise is placed like a host on my tongue
Divine trust spreads feathered across my back.
Eyes closed I lift, rescuing myself into my own salvation.

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