Disappointment

Why do I keep putting myself out there? Why do I keep allowing pain to re-enter and take over? So many things causing unbearable, undeniable pain. Should've learned by now. Should've known better. Gotta stop putting faith into empty promises never to be fulfilled. Blatant empty expectations from those totally incapable of giving more than nothing. A ruthless addiction to let downs and regrets. A bunch of lies that have messed me up. Twisted my emotional core into a gapping hole of disappointment, resentment. Justifications mean nothing. Promises constantly broken with no regard to my well being or more over sanity. Trying hard to hold onto the last little bit that is me. Some inner peace; of MY being. Not washed away by disappointments, not crushed, torn or battered. But me, whole, in charge... strong.