Dirty Deeds

The serpent closed in on Eve at twilight
 A nebulous shape in the half light, fangs
 Hidden beneath his hood and she, her vision
 Blurred was completely beguiled by his lies.

 He bought her white roses that she watered
 With her tears and chocolate dark like his soul.
 He spiced his lies with compliments and promises
 And she was completely beguiled by his lies.

 Like a sponge he sucked her resources and lied.
 When heavy with her giving heart he gave 
 His time to Evie then Everly and finally to
 Every woman or girl who glittered like gold.

 He matured and widened his audience to include
 Even his friends. He borrowed, stole, swindled
 Gambled, smiled and lied, lied and smiled
 Until his conscience died and he wreaked havoc
 On the lives of those who loved him most.  

 Now he's just a rat who slinks into his hole, scorned,
 shunned that’s his due, and finally  I want him to 
 know, I’ve put his portrait on Poetry Soup and all
 will remember him as  the-serpent-turned-rat
 who drowned  in his bowl of soup.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2012



Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Date: 9/27/2012 7:45:00 PM
Dear readers all, this is a poem about a character, not about a particular person. I am a fiction writer and creating characters is what I do best. This is a composite person who behaves a certain way, hence, the use of the word 'portrait.' Sherese
Login to Reply
Date: 9/3/2012 7:09:00 PM
I love how you write! He is the evil serpent, it must die! She was genuine and weak! Love it!
Login to Reply
Date: 8/23/2012 5:22:00 AM
great write Sherese,sense a little anger,the rat was found and pronounced,lol
Login to Reply
Date: 8/22/2012 9:43:00 PM
O so you know him too?? LOL...just kidding girl, what a powerful and provoking write. Thanks for visiting and comments..one love. Joy Wells
Login to Reply
Date: 8/18/2012 11:02:00 AM
I loved the ending. Strong emotions... is it for the contest?
Login to Reply
Date: 8/16/2012 7:14:00 PM
From a serpent into a rat? You really must have hated him. Good way to poetically describe him.
Login to Reply
Date: 8/16/2012 6:03:00 PM
Awesome poem!!!!!!! Enjoyed immensely. :D Always, Laura
Login to Reply
Date: 8/16/2012 11:18:00 AM
nicely written Sherese...best of luck in the contest...love...Joseph
Login to Reply
Date: 8/16/2012 11:07:00 AM
I like this poem lots. Thanks for posting it. Thanks for reading and commenting on my recent work. Jancarl
Login to Reply
Date: 8/16/2012 4:26:00 AM
Sherese I like it, if for the contest good luck..David
Login to Reply
Date: 8/16/2012 2:50:00 AM
Scathing, though funny... Nice... Terry
Login to Reply
Date: 8/15/2012 11:04:00 PM
Good luck in the contest..love it..:-) Thank you for sharing * Goodnight~ PD
Login to Reply
Date: 8/15/2012 8:49:00 PM
sherese, this is a very interesting poem. You turned it into a very funny one by the end of it. A fun read.
Login to Reply
Gooden Avatar
Sherese Gooden
Date: 8/15/2012 9:00:00 PM
Thanks for reading, Andrea.
Date: 8/15/2012 8:11:00 PM
Ops, I forgot to say thank you for dropping by and reading my poem. Bless you always.
Login to Reply
Gooden Avatar
Sherese Gooden
Date: 8/15/2012 9:01:00 PM
Leonora, thanks for same.
Date: 8/15/2012 8:10:00 PM
This is awesome, Sherese! You've developed the topic so well. Good luck and best wishes to you always. hugs, leonora
Login to Reply
Get a Premium Membership
Get more exposure for your poetry and more features with a Premium Membership.
Book: Radiant Verses: A Journey Through Inspiring Poetry

Member Area

My Admin
Profile and Settings
Edit My Poems
Edit My Quotes
Edit My Short Stories
Edit My Articles
My Comments Inboxes
My Comments Outboxes
Soup Mail
Poetry Contests
Contest Results/Status
Followers
Poems of Poets I Follow
Friend Builder

Soup Social

Poetry Forum
New/Upcoming Features
The Wall
Soup Facebook Page
Who is Online
Link to Us

Member Poems

Poems - Top 100 New
Poems - Top 100 All-Time
Poems - Best
Poems - by Topic
Poems - New (All)
Poems - New (PM)
Poems - New by Poet
Poems - Read
Poems - Unread

Member Poets

Poets - Best New
Poets - New
Poets - Top 100 Most Poems
Poets - Top 100 Most Poems Recent
Poets - Top 100 Community
Poets - Top 100 Contest

Famous Poems

Famous Poems - African American
Famous Poems - Best
Famous Poems - Classical
Famous Poems - English
Famous Poems - Haiku
Famous Poems - Love
Famous Poems - Short
Famous Poems - Top 100

Famous Poets

Famous Poets - Living
Famous Poets - Most Popular
Famous Poets - Top 100
Famous Poets - Best
Famous Poets - Women
Famous Poets - African American
Famous Poets - Beat
Famous Poets - Cinquain
Famous Poets - Classical
Famous Poets - English
Famous Poets - Haiku
Famous Poets - Hindi
Famous Poets - Jewish
Famous Poets - Love
Famous Poets - Metaphysical
Famous Poets - Modern
Famous Poets - Punjabi
Famous Poets - Romantic
Famous Poets - Spanish
Famous Poets - Suicidal
Famous Poets - Urdu
Famous Poets - War

Poetry Resources

Anagrams
Bible
Book Store
Character Counter
Cliché Finder
Poetry Clichés
Common Words
Copyright Information
Grammar
Grammar Checker
Homonym
Homophones
How to Write a Poem
Lyrics
Love Poem Generator
New Poetic Forms
Plagiarism Checker
Poetics
Poetry Art
Publishing
Random Word Generator
Spell Checker
Store
What is Good Poetry?
Word Counter